The Soylent System :Munch:

~Fic: Time after Time {Umeda/Akiha}

2007-08-01T13:39:31Z

"Sometimes you picture me.. I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said
Then you say go slow, I fall behind
The second hand unwinds"

It was amazing how the rumor mill worked. Or perhaps it was because Umeda had been too busy with being in Ryouichi's pocket, of living and breathing at his side as if he belonged there. Of course Umeda knew that there was no way that Ryouichi could ever love him in that way, but it didn't stop him from trying with his entire might, and so he hadn't noticed Akiha's gradual disappearance from his life. Somewhere in his subconscious, he realized that Ryouichi was just dangling him along with no promise of anything, but he was oblivious to that for love was blind and he doubly so. There were certain truths that worked in Umeda's mind, one of them was that he relentless wanted what he couldn't have and it was his one defining thing when it came to relationships, he had known the first time that he met Ryouichi, the first time that he kissed him, that he couldn't have him and that sweetened the deal even though it was a lose/lose situation.

But somewhere along the way, he had lost track of exactly what Akiha was doing, he rarely saw him anymore.. and Akiha wasn't acting his annoying self, in fact he acted almost.. normal. Of course Umeda attributed that to the full moon since well people were known to act strange during that time of the month, but when those full moons happened in succession... he lost himself instead in hanging out with Ryouichi, it was easy to do so... and he was approaching graduation and he'd go on to a medical school in Tokyo, fastly approaching the time when he'd graduate.

Around that time Ryouichi got discovered as a model and broke it to Umeda that he would be going to New York to study for a few years. Of course he couldn't be sad about that, after all it was a wonderful opportunity, but slowly Umeda realized it was coming to an end, their idyllic moments that really held no definite moments in solid physical or even emotional affinity. Umeda never cried when people left, emotions were far fetched for him and the only true emotion he ever felt was anger or frustration. He merely stood at the terminal and bid Ryouichi adieu in his usual slightly distant way, there wasn't even tears. He just went back home, poured himself a cup of coffee and surveyed his apartment, certainly it was everything that his family could afford, and his parents were putting him through medical school. There were the curtains, pink organza that his mother had insisted go up in the kitchen even though he never used it except to store his coffee machine.

He lost himself into the new flurry of Medical school, of broadening his horizons and forging new contacts that he'd never bring closer, and perhaps Akiha would of escaped completely from his mind into the flurry of the past, if it wasn't for that single letter that had come from his mother. No one knew his address except for his parents and he had cautioned them not to give it out. But he opened the envelope and opened it up to find a letter from his mother, along with a gilt wedding invitation. He had perused the wedding invitation first, and his heart froze.

~Akiha is getting married?~. And that was the first time he had thought of him in anything more then passing, but he almost dropped the invitation as if it had burned him, it fluttered to the ground and he watched it's descent. First one, and then now the other... it was as if no time had passed even though he realized that time indeed did pass. Only then did he read his mother's letter.

Dear Hokuto-baby,

Did you know little Aki-chan is getting married? Imagine that! I've meet his wife and she's so lovely and really a perfect match for him, it makes me sad though because I always thought it would be you that he would marry, oh well.. Akiha has asked me to sit there in the section reserved for his mother.. I always thought of him as a son. You should contact him, he gave me this invitation to give to you.. and since you told me not to give your address to anyone, I couldn't very well give it to him, even though I wanted to. Please contact him. Love, your Mommy.

Umeda balled up the missive in his hands and then aimed it at the trashcan, but he kept the wedding invitation. Left it laying on the counter for a week or so while he dwelled on it. Inclosed in the invitation on a slip of paper was Akiha's phone number, and it would of been so easy to contact him, made painfully easy.

But all that Umeda could think on was the fact that Akiha was marrying someone, a girl.. in the time that he had been pandering to Ryouichi's every whim. While he was doing that, Akiha was getting himself yoked to a woman, perhaps even falling in love. Somehow that spurred something in Umeda, suddenly he wanted Akiha -very- much, because he was off limits. Suddenly his dreams were filled with those smiling brown eyes and that shaggy blonde hair, all the casual making out and the casual sex, everything that he had taken for granted. It didn't matter that he had put himself distant, not at all. When Umeda thought something, it was very hard to change his mind though it could be done. He didn't send his acceptance, since there was no R.S.V.P, he figured there wouldn't be, after all it was Akiha they were talking about.

Months he agonized over it, over contacting Akiha, he didn't know why he was so indecisive, perhaps he didn't want to appear desperate.. even though part of him was.. but he also knew it wouldn't reflect well on him to come in charging. He thought that perhaps he'd see, see if there would be a way to break up the marriage that he could think of. The only way to do that would be at the wedding. So the day of the wedding, he got dressed in his best outfit and headed down to where it would held and coincidentally he was one of the last to arrive. He stood at the back and watched, saw Akiha moving down the aisle and since he was standing in the shadows, he didn't care to draw attention to himself. All he saw was that his mother grabbing Akiha and giving him a hug, the hug being returned. Somehow it seemed as if he was watching a wedding where the bride should of been him.. but wasn't.

And even though that stung, he watched on.. he by tradition hated weddings, perhaps because he remembered when Uo had gotten married, he had been shoved into a flowergirl costume and forced to walk down the aisle scattering flower petals, memories such as that clung to his psyche and granted to the general bad-taste in his mouth. He saw the proceedings, and when the wedding march came on, he saw the bride walk down the aisle, and he saw her.. scrutinized her for as long as the wedding lasted, he was judging her in his mind's eye. He knew that with certain females, it'd be a pleasure to break up the marriage, he was seeing if it was worth his time, however there was a quality to Eibi.. and he simply couldn't. He knew that, and a look at Akiha's face confirmed it. Shards of ice went through his heart because he knew that if anything broke up the marriage, it wouldn't be him.. he wouldn't be known as -that- kind of guy.

He left before the final vows were spoken, he didn't want to see them uttered. He'd just remember Akiha before the vows were uttered. He left the gift that he had brought, something that Akiha would of liked, a chocolate fondue set in sterling silver. A last testament to the fact that Umeda had actually cared to bring something that he was sure that would be appreciated, and besides he figured that everyone else would have sent blenders.

Going back home and reaching there, he did the same thing that he did when Ryouichi left, he took that cup of coffee and surveyed his home. But there was one difference. This time he allowed a tiny tear to slip down his cheek, perhaps it was for something that unlike Ryouichi could of been possible. Then Umeda did the only thing that he could, he went on with his life, he wasn't going to let himself stagnate because of this. He went out, he emmersed himself in one night stands and the riguers of studying while all the time remaining aware of Akiha's burgeoning career as the trunk in his closet could attest to, little pieces of emotions that he wouldn't admit to himself that he felt. This was a slower burn, and it never really went out completely.. even when he got a random letter from Ryouichi.. somehow along the lines, Akiha had reached the same status as Ryouichi and perhaps edged him out a little bit in the competition.

But Akiha would never know that, and somehow it made the denial easier to bear, even if inside only Umeda knew the truth.

"After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows, you're wondering If I am ok
Secrets stolen from deep inside,
The drum beats out of time"

~Hyuga and Naomi - Models and Musicians~

2007-07-27T13:36:31Z

RP: Models and Musicians
Characters: Naomi and Hyuga
Implied Pairing: Sigurd/Hyuga

I couldn't find a song to fit this scene, so I sort of just decided to opt out of a song.

The days and months following their first meeting was long. Or so Hyuga thought, though work certainly kept him busy. He had returned to his life in full force, once again being whirrled off to Japan in order to do a Geisha covershoot, with his eyes staring out of a japanese magazine as he modeled a modernized version of yutaka, his face made-up but not exactly painted, it was the sort of artistic shoot that he liked, not to mention he had a professed fondness for Japan as he had been there a few times and enjoyed going to the shrines.

The first time he had recieved that phone call from Sigurd, he had answered it straight away.. took the phone into his room to talk while he packed for his Japan trip. They had stayed on the phone for nearly four hours, disregarding all international rates and it had ended with him cradling the phone in his hands, curled up on his hotel bed and asleep though thankfully the phone had been clicked off. Such was the next week of their lives, with Hyuga and Sigurd calling each other at every opportunity, or sending text messages.. a flurry of phone conversations, bouts of audial sex in which Hyuga's ear was filled with the sound of Sigurd's moans as he talked him into orgasm and vice versa. Due to the time difference, Sigurd's voice was often times sleepy when he called and it filled Hyuga with the necessity to have a copy of both their schedules so that he could fit in phone calls in the gaps where the both of them were not doing anything.

And so the phone calls continued that first month as Hyuga moved from Japan back to Paris, to Germany for a location shoot that lasted a week, and then finally to Milan, Italy in order to do some work at the Armani headquarters before he once again was back to Paris to pack for his trip to his family home in Marsielles. Somewhere along the way his personal assistant had gotten ahold of the phone bill and awaited him at the Charles de Gaulle airport. Hyuga had walked out of the terminal and seen that she was smiling in that particularly angry way, that only she could smile in. His first inclination was to run, but he knew that wouldn't of saved face at all and so he sort of casually sauntered up to Naomi with a smile that was trying it's hardest not to be sheepish.

"A 900 euro phone bill?"

"Oh, yes.. ummm well, I think that there will be more of those?" he said as it was hard to not confide in one of his two best friends, but well he figured that the airport terminal wasn't the right place to catch up and then he realized that he had only called her twice on the entire trip which would account for any potential blow-outs. His personal assistant was the type to smile under any situation, which meant that she was good at coping with high stress that came with this job as she organized his life for him, it was an important job and for someone as in demand as him, it was a challenge. He looked over her, white buttoned down shirt with ruffled collar and cuffs, black miniskirt, thigh high black boots and her mass of brown curls that went pretty much everywhere and smiled, hoping that she wouldn't kill him here and now.

"Oh.. so this is going to be a standard from now on?"

His answer was a sheepish yes, in his own english as he knew that he had to tell the truth.

"Well then tomorrow bright and early, we are going to go and modify your plan to include international calling so that we do not get one of these bills again.." and then she turned on her heels, a feat certainly in her high heels, as she expected Hyuga to follow her.

And follow her he did, all the way to his penthouse apartment that they shared, after all since she was his personal assistant, he expected her to arrange his life in a neat and orderly fashion, and she did in a way.. so it entitled that she be close enough to his life to do so. He prattled on about more of his trip details, realizing that he was used to calling her every night, and yet this trip wasn't like past ones, they had been thrown out of communication. He wasn't by nature a prattler but he just filled her on little inconsequential details, as if hedging that he wanted to tell her more but he wasn't certain if it will be well recieved.

Finally she smiled as she drove, whenever anyone was in a car with Naomi, it automatically defaulted to her driving. "You know, at least you could tell me about this fabulous person that you've been neglecting me for.. I mean they must be important if you've spent a total of 31.6 hours on the phone with them in a single phone period."

Well that did it and suddenly Hyuga just let it all come out, about the award's ceremony, of the lead singer of Venus Rising and how they connected and then had a rather wonderful evening, and an equally nice morning before Hyuga had to catch his plane out. And then came then mention of phone calls, of the sweet moments just before sleep when Sigurd would call to tell him goodnight or he would call and tell Sigurd the same thing. There was a dreamy quality to his voice that wasn't lost on Naomi.

"I am glad that you found someone that you fancy, everyone's been calling you Ice Queen in the press.. so it's nice that there is someone to inspire some sort of passion in you.." Naomi said as she pulled into the heavily secured parking garage that led into their apartment building, filled with people from the higher end of wealth, among the wealth.. fame and fortune was nearly all the same. "However we need to see to the phone bill early in the morning.. but you can call and tell him that you are alright, I suppose.. just make it quick.

The cell phone was out of Hyuga's pocket faster then lightening as he started to speed dial Sigurd's number and then pressed his ear to it while he smiled softly, once Sigurd answered, the smile only broadened. "Hello, Sigurd.. I am sorry I can't stay on the phone long.. my personal assistant just got finished.. how do you put this.. chastising me for my excessively large phone bill.. and so now's not the time for our usual phone bouts.. however I am going to be getting an international plan tomorrow and I will put your number on it." he paused as he heard Sigurd speak, a blissful smile on his face. "Mmmm yes I know.. I miss you too, mon amor. And yes, I send kisses through the telephone, all of them... for you.. sweet dreams." he stayed on the phone for a bit longer as Sigurd gave him his goodnights and then he shut the phone off.

"That was very cute.." Naomi said with a sparkle to her eyes as she glanced sideways at Hyuga. "Sickneningly cute in fact."

"Shush.." Hyuga said as he stored the item of temptation back in his pocket. "I do not need to hear this from you.. however some of your additional duties will include taping shows on TV that have him and his band in it so that I may view them later.:

That was the demanding Hyuga Ricdeau that Naomi knew and loved, she didn't say anything, she merely smiled. Of course she'd do it all, because it was important that she keep Hyuga happy, and well that really was such a simple request that she had no qualms with it.

~Seishirou Sakurazukamori: Walk This Earth Alone~

2007-07-20T01:05:15Z

Title: Walk This Earth Alone
Fandom: X/1999
Pairing: Seishirou
Notes: You'd be surprised how hard it is to find a really good Seishirou song. It's very elusive. And while this is ALSO one of my Ashura-ou/Taishakuten songs, this one also fits Subaru and Seishirou. Clamp can sure come up with good old-fashioned fucked up romance. If you think about the span of time that Seishirou took in merely avoiding Subaru, and I'm sure it is because he knew exactly what was going to happen, Seishirou doesn't seem to be the type that is surprised easily. I also loved the scene with his mother, and how it is explained how a Sakurazukamori feels love.. kinda fucked up, but what do you expect from an assasin clan?

"You're in the crashing of the windows,
The angels on the ceiling.
You're the fire in my belly..
The fucked up way I'm feeling"

"You love me.. but you do not love me the best. One day you will let the one you love kill you as I have done you.. you will give your heart inexplicably to this person and when they kill you, they will know your love for him."

Those words where what his mother had spoken to him just as she had fallen against his killing hand, watching her fall to the ground underneath the sakura tree like a withering rose, ever beautiful with her black hair and pale skin.. and the blood that seemed to seep against the petals of the Sakura tree, where a thousand corpses had seen their bitter end at the hands of his mother and countless others before her. He had not mourned his mother, a Sakurazukamori never mourned anyone for their idealogy prevented them from doing so. At a very young age, Seishirou had been de-sensitized toward the violence and to have blood on his hands were commonplace. He had killed at such a young age, innocent people where his favorite for the blood of innocents were like bouquets of cherry blossoms, carrying that same subtle fragrance.

So integral was his 'no regrets'. None, no matter what he did.. for regret was alien to his blood. Everything had a purpose, as did the Sakurazukamori, so as did the Sumeragi clan. Each played out their roles as best they were able. A Sumeragi was no more inclined to a violence then a Sakurazukamori was inclined to pacifism. The roles had to be maintained or else the balance broke and chaos tore everything asunder, riping it to shreds. They were checks and minus', one championing a human's right to live, the other decrying that right.

There had never been anymore more innocent then him.

Standing underneath the cherry blossoms in the sacremental robes, eyes alive with innocence.. such Seishirou had not been able to resist. He had known who Subaru was and yet that didn't stop him from doing exactly what it was in his nature to do.. to defile. Cupping that tender face in his hands and looking down at him before making that promise and marking the young boy as his prey. Seishirou had always liked games, they all did. After all there was no fun in death if there were no challenge.

So he sent Subaru off, with the promise that he would find him.. a child's memories was fragile and he did not think Subaru would totally remember which was all well and good with him. It would make it all the more interesting, the promise would fade, but his mark would not fade and it would be exactly what 'they' would warn him of. But Seishirou would return, he knew this.. he would remember the boy and he would come back and a far cry from the hazy memory that would give his face to substance.

If Subaru could make him feel love, then perhaps he would spare him. But a Sakurazukamori did not know of love.. certainly lust, there was ancient knowledge there, but love.. the type that could cause someone to spare another's life. He knew nothing of it. And yet he endeavored to try, he tried to make Subaru fall in love with him, to see if those feelings could make him more human in anything other then pure name.

That year was certainly long, a terribly long time with not even a spot cast against him to blemish his name. For a single year he was Seishirou Sakurazukimori, a member of the Sakurazukamori and yet removed from them and going to act as a simple veternarian in order to befriend Subaru and Hokuto so easily. A year of cooking for them, of serenading a blushing Subaru underneath eaves, of proclaiming his undying love, the marriage proposals and all with Hokuto's encouragement. It had been easy. And yet his heart was not so easily melted. Three-hundred and sixty-five days of chipping away at his heart-armor to see exactly what existed there.

And he found absolutely nothing. It was not Subaru though Subaru was the catalyst, it was something that he had wanted to find out for himself. Incapable of his emotions, he still wasn't sure and yet the year was over and he was only as good as his word. Still having proven absolutely nothing, and yet not inclined to draw this out.. he instead went ahead with his plan and once again lured Subaru underneath the cherry blossoms to enact their wedding night underneath the branches of the tree where Subaru's virgin blood would be shed.

And instead he was faced with love in it's purest form, and another promise was extracted from him... a promise that if he ever tried to launch an attack like that against another person, it would come back against him and kill him, just as he had killed her. He knew it was a way to safeguard her brother, and yet for a brief moment he faltered, because he knew what it meant... it meant that the next time if he tried to kill Subaru.. Subaru would be the one to kill him. That knowledge rang through his mind and so he fled, because somehow along the way, his heart had been revealed, exposed by Hokuto's magic.

So he tried to keep a step ahead of Subaru. He knew that Subaru searched, could feel the energy of the Sumeragi as it seemed to keep one step behind him. It was a courtship in a way, obsession and fascination. He would leave his deeds for Subaru to dwell upon, and yet every act of mercy that Subaru enacted, he felt or saw keenly. He knew that of the two of them were allowed to meet or compromise, then the balance would be broken which was a dangerous thing to the both of them and so he stayed away.. only letting Subaru know of his presence which was infinite in Tokyo.

The balance had to be maintained that is until he chose to upset them.

Even though each time he saw Subaru, even if it was the passing in the night on a rain soaked street, just a flicker as Subaru glanced around to see that he had gone, de-materialized into the rain, he knew where his fate rested. He had hit upon the only thing or person that could undo him, the one worthy to kill him. Yet he knew that he had to keep that a secret, had to elude Subaru until the very moment when it was right.

No truer words had been spoken by his mother, indeed.

But he also realized that a Sakurazukamori could feel love. But it was in the form of death, of dying at the hands of the one you love, of giving up that great rite to them and staining their hands with your crimson, the blood of the beloved one. There was no greater trust or supplication and in that Seishirou knew that he would one day prove his love to Subaru, and it would be absolute.

"But I walk this earth alone..
And all I've ever known.
Is that you are right beside me
If I love you for a day..
And throw my life away.
Could I leave you behind me?"

~Tell him about it~

2007-07-15T00:05:47Z

Title: "Tell Him About It"
Pairing: Sigurd/Hyuga
Fandom: Xenogears
Song: "Tell her about it.." by Billy Joel.
Notes: This is something a bit.. I guess sappy. I behaved perhaps unpardonably.. and for that I'm sorry, so I decided to just pop off something that would be meaninful. The one it is intended for will surely understand.

"Listen boy,
It's not automatically a certain guarentee.
To ensure yourself, you gotta communicate constantly
When you love someone,
You're always insecure..
And there's only one good way to reassure."

There were times when Hyuga Ricdeau got jealous, it was just because it so happened that the Element of Fire was extremely popular, both with the ladies and the gentleman. Of course he knew he didn't have to worry about the opposite gender, he had sort of gotten used to the fact that girls just latched onto Sigurd, and he was okay with that perhaps because he decided that it wasn't a threat. The girls were more inclined to come over and drag him out shopping. That was perfectly acceptable in his mind's eyes. Granted he knew that the double standard shouldn't exist but it did.. and it unfortunately reared it's ugly head during those moments when he just saw a hand touch, even advertantly. Such things made Hyuga angry. More at himself then anything because somehow he started imagining his Sigurd in another guy's heart and bed and that turned the green eyed monster on. The thing was that he didn't want to imagine that, but after a while that was all that he could think of. A person that was usually cool and collected and yet surfacing another of water's deadly sins, it was the stigma of jealousy, the harshest of the emotional traits that was given to him, and yet it cooled underneath the surface so that he'd forget about it until suddenly it was out.

It was that afternoon that he had stalked off, leaving Sigurd behind in the halls once what he had construed as an intimate look surfaced and then he had to escape before he got utterly biting and nasty. Perhaps he had been a bit brusque, but that was because he wasn't used to dealing with the extremity of that emotion. It was only that evening finally arrived and there was no Sigurd in his room then he realized that it was so terribly lonely without the fire element, and suddenly that absence seemed so much more.. bleak. Almost as if it was an absence that had the potential of being forever.

There were very few things that Hyuga didn't want to imagine, and losing Sigurd to forever was one of them. In that moment he realized how terrible it'd be and he beginning regretting every harsh word, fearing that perhaps in his hotheadedness he had made a harsh utterance into a truth.

Love was a learning process, he knew he wasn't exactly knowledgeable about it.. in fact in the throes of this, he realized that he was very foolish.. not at all as intelligent and rational as he prided himself on. And that the loss of something so intrinsic could cause tears to stream down his cheeks. He begin to wonder if Sigurd was anywhere, if there was absolutely anything that he could do.

Then his desperation tried a different track and he got up from his bed, wiping his tears from his cheeks and then he adopted a resolution that seemed to dry the tears. He knew that he had to go and he had to apologize. For the awarence came over him that it was him who was sharing Sigurd's bed and no one else. And that he needed to act as someone worthy of that love, of the reciever of those kisses. For he was acting shabbily and in no way earning the honor of those kisses.

He grabbed his coat from the door hook on his closet and then set out, he would hunt down Sigurd and he would be the first to apologize, and he would somehow try to mend something that he had blown all out of proportion.

The bigger mistake would be letting this go unresolved.

~Everything I Ever Wanted~ {Ficbit / Xenogears}

2007-07-08T17:23:44Z

Fandom: Xenogears
Pairing: Hyuga/Sigurd
Inspiration and Credits: First tinrobo for her picture of which can be found over HERE and then the ficbit by shuufish over HERE

Hyuga Ricdeau was known to be many things and all of them were in his opinion fairly good. There were extra eyes on him as he had been a third class citizen before entering Jugend so he was constantly aware that he had an audience in whatever he did, be it swordsmanship, studies or how he kept his room. All of them were fairly immaculate in reputation and deed, his sword was always swift and sure.. his homework was always turned in with pages cross referenced and marked and that was the same for any research papers he would turn in. His room, well that was a different story though to be perfectly honest he had a thorough challenge there in the form of his roommate.

One side, his side of the room was immaculate. The bed was made, clutter was seemingly non-existant save for a stack of papers on his desk but even that adopted a natural order that almost defied the fact that it was essentially clutter. On the other side was the testament to something bordering upon chaos, there were clothing strewn everywhere, little odds and ends. Though Hyuga had to think with satisfaction that the Elements Uniform was pristinely hanging up the hook upon the closet door. When he had encountered Sigurd, the mess had been a score times worse, but at least the bed was made.

And that made Hyuga smile because of the true purpose of why the bed remained without even a crease in it's folds. Hyuga liked secrets, and he was also happy that he'd always ensure that Sigurd's bed never failed an inspection, even if the reasons were more selfish then aesthetic.

Sigurd was wandering around while he sat cross legged in the middle of his section of the floor with a huge book opened out on his lap and countless other books lay unopened at his side. There was a test in his communication's class and he needed to cram for it though he had been studying every day for the past couple of weeks, he liked to be prepared for stuff such as tests and he also wanted time to spend with Sigurd. However the time that he did spend studying, he spent every single minute in absolute concentration and it was as hard to distract him as it was to sneak into Krelian's lab as a prank to mess with the climate control system, all of which the elements -had- done as a simple lark, but that was for a different story.

Whatever it was that Sigurd was saying to him, he was so concentrating in on his system's course that he all he could manage was a "Mmmm... sure.." which he uttered because by the inflection he could tell that it had been a question, and he wasn't one to deny Sigurd anything, and well Sigurd knew what to ask for within reason while he was studying. There was his abstraction and the sounds of Sigurd rummaging around just didn't register, his brows were knitted in concentration of a different sort, in fact the feeling of fingers combing through his shoulder length raven hair didn't register either not when binary gear programming seemed to hold itself first and foremost and so unless Sigurd managed to magically speak binary to him, there'd be no real communication there, just the book in front of him and whatever Sigurd was managing to do that didn't even merit a passing glance.

Finally when he emmerged from the realm of books and study, he felt himself coming back into touch with reality and then he slowly glanced over to see where exactly Sigurd's coordinates were. He smiled fondly as he saw that Sigurd was laying on his bed taking a nap which he thought made a beautiful picture in and of itself. So he got up from his perch on the floor and headed with his arms full of books to the bookcase where he kept all of his study materials. Incidentally he happened to pass a mirror on the way, he was halfway from passing the mirror when he paused and took a few steps back, he had caught the look of something glinting which intriqued him. Once there, he surveyed himself in the mirror and was actually quite amazed.

How had Sigurd been able to do this while he had been studying. There were barrettes everywhere, his hair was put up in two pigtails as well as two braids that danced against his shoulders. He stared at his reflection for awhile and then back at Sigurd who evidentally had been busy. He had to repress a smile before he went over to his bookcase and deposited the books, in a heap on the shelf. Then he walked over, creeping over to his bed so as to not disturb Sigurd prematurely. Then he picked up a pillow and whacked Sigurd with it gently, his eyes sparkling. And then when he caught those sapphire eyes on him he just smiled.

"Finished studying?" Sigurd said nearly groggily. Hyuga completely overstepped that question however and then whacked him once again with the pillow.

"I seem to be having trouble with my hair, I trust you'll set it to rights?" Hyuga said mock-sternly as he plopped down next to Sigurd, crossing one leg over the other and giving Sigurd a sideways glance. He smiled as he handed Sigurd the hairbrush, however once the hairbrush was in his hands.. he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against Sigurd's cheek, a smile returning to his lips in the process. Studying was trust, and in that respect.. so was love. Studying was done so now it was time for the single thing that lacked any sort of reason in his life, but for that he was happy.. a life run completely by reason, Sigurd had taught him, was truly boring indeed.

"Cause you're everything I ever wanted and more,
You're in my mind, in my heart and my soul
Each time I think about reason, my work, losing time..
I just think about you.. and leave responsibility behind" - Take That, "Everything I Ever Wanted"

~Victorian: "Makes Perfect Sense to Me" ~Meredith/Seren~

2007-05-13T04:23:32Z

Fandom: Xenogears/Saga AU Victorian RP
Pairing: Meredith/Seren (Female versions of Roni Fatima and Xenogears OC, Mathias Jaevyn -nisan era-)
Song Inspiration: "Ain't no Sense in Love" by Take That
Comments: We -just- dreamed up this pairing today, and I think I fell in love with it just a little bit, we haven't even RP'd this yet I was compelled to write this before I went to bed *Meredith wouldn't let me sleep until I had written this out*. I love the barrage of inspiration that both I and shuufish have going, it's like magic when we hit upon something -just- right, it's a magic that has been going on for over two years now. Stuff like this proves that she's my muse -and- my partner in crime.
Warning: Lesbians.. and the mention of lesbian sex at the very end. (the world needs more yuri love, seriously). If you're okay with the gay buttsecks but not with the implication of hot girl on girl action. Don't bother clicking the cut text.. you'd probably puke anyways. Also beta'd? AHAHAHA no.

Crossposted to shitan

"You're not the one I need,
you're just the one that i want..
Makes a perfect sense to me"

The life of an Opera Dancer was not too bad, or at least from what Meredith could ascertain. She was born to be in the spotlight or so she thought, she was a trifle vain that way, but perhaps it was because of her stunning looks, from the pale skin that seemed to be heightened by the lights of the stage as they played upon her dancing, or perhaps it was the rich and thick dark brown hair that fell from her red ribbons in lusterous curls that just toppled everywhere around her shoulders and if she danced just right, they seemed to curl over her shoulders and softly graced the sides of her full breasts.

Her figure was the type that men wanted and perhaps she was the most sought after dancer there. She certainly did not lack for admiriers at her dressing room doors, and she could of had any that she wanted, all she had to do was crook her delicate fingers and they would come.. and yet she had no need nor use for any men despite how much they groveled, her favorite part was coyly flirting with them and the mountains of flowers and trinkets that she could accept because of it, little geegaws that served her for her better amusement.

And yet the only suitor that she had ever accepted was not a man, but a woman. And such a glorious woman as that, someone whom had hypnotized Meredith at first moment, for when their eyes met it had sent a fire going through Meredith even though by all intents and purposes it shouldn't even of been that big of a deal for naturally everyone was watching her. Instead she had put that aside and danced her best that night, clad in that dress that displayed her ankles prettily, as well as the swell of her cleavage. That night she danced for the blonde woman in the box, danced as if her very soul depended on it.

Perhaps she even dreamed of her that night, all she knew that she woke up a bit flustered and flushed with something clinging to her soul, and a longing to know who she had been.

The next day she got her answer as it was customary that the mornings after came flowers for the dancers. She had recieved more then her share, but only one bouquet was waiting for her from a woman, a Miss Seren Fatima. Somehow she knew that the bouquet was from the woman whom had captured her eyes for that brief moment.

That evening she tucked one of the favored flowers into her hair, just behind a ribbon, in the hopes that the woman would once again attend the Opera. She hoped that she would be beautiful for the other woman, in fact something compelled her to seek that favor, she absolutely needed it. And once again her eyes made contact with the woman, now known to her as 'Seren'. Her dark eyes danced flirtily as she woo'd that gaze all across the stage, she could compell anyone to her, and yet she especially wanted this woman, the fire in those ocean eyes made her want so desperately... as if the attraction was something living and breathing. But still there was no visits from the woman, and she knew why exactly.. because she was a woman.. and in this day and age, it wasn't acceptable for a woman to see an opera dancer, in fact a gently bred lady wasn't supposed to even 'know- what men did with opera dancers.

But still every night she danced and every night she could feel Seren watching her. And she didn't dare go out of her way to approach the woman, or even overlap their lives, besides there was something deliciously erotic about how she danced for the woman every night, refused to favor men with her presence because she wanted Seren. Suddenly Seren was her goddess and she'd worship no god when a goddess was what she desired.

Every morning those flowers came, but one day the flowers came attached with a note.

"Meet me tomorrow night in Vauxhall Gardens and wear my flower in your domino, I would know your beauty anywhere. -S"

And suddenly Meredith was dancing on air, for Vauxhall was a popular place to go after an Opera, and as an Opera dancer, her entrance would be unremarked upon. But she wondered how her Lady Seren would get there when a young woman going alone to the gardens was discouraged. Oh but Meredith didn't care if only for the delicious thrill that went through her at the thought that she would be able to meet with the woman whom she had been making love to with her eyes for the past few weeks.

The next evening after the opera was over, she slid into one of her more revealing dresses, a stripped red and black dress with a dramatic corset and a flouncing skirt, the domino smoothed over her head and the flower attacked along with a black lace veil. She headed to the gardens where she would await her lady, her heart buzzing with anticipation for what the night would bring.

And when the shining 'man' approached her, hair like a lion's mane cascading down the slender linen clad shoulders and blue eyes only visible behind a mask, she knew that it was her goddess come to her in a form that would invite little scandal. She demured and accepted the dance, and was thereby whirrled around in arms that held her closely, and then when she was pulled into the shadows for a kiss, she didn't deny her 'lord' whatsoever, offering her tender lips up for tribute, a tribute that soon turned passionate.

And when the fireworks at midnight lit up the sky just over the gardens, that found Meredith exactly where she wanted to be, wrapped up in those arms as they each took and gave each other pleasure in the gardens. Anyone who tripped upon them thought that it was some lord dallying with a pretty little bit of muslin, and perhaps it was the truth, however Meredith was quite glad that when her fingers dipped into those pants, they found something considerably less intimidating then a lord's part and parcel and she was quite pleased with the fact that she had caught the woman that she wanted.

~Victorian: Mat pt 2~

2007-05-08T23:41:12Z

"I watch the walls around me crumble,
But it's not like I won't build them up again.
So here's your last change for your redemption.
So take it while it lasts cause it will end."

It was in the depths of Mat's grief that the letter came, the first one. He had nearly been in shock, it had been a few years since Roni had left and really Mat had been expecting their association to have come to a close. He had opened the missive with a trembling hand and he wouldn't of known what to do had it contained anything involving their past involvement. Mat was sure he would of burned it, but he couldn't of been totally certain being that it was not the case. The letter was filled with condolances for his father's passing as well as casual 'how are yous' phrased in Roni's way of writing down his words as if he was actually speaking them. Mat had been a bit morose and he hadn't a clue that Jakob had written to his son hinting that perhaps they should start talking again, but Mat was grateful and he went to write back though he used a week to carefully phrase his thoughts, for Mat a letter was not penned in the course of an afternoon.

There came the start of such wonderful letters, all Mat had to do was look over at the silver platter that contained his post, see a browned envelop with indian stamps and that would cause him to reach over and select it first. Each letter was perhaps read several times, stored in a box underneath his bed. And to Roni he related all the details of his life, from the running of the manor to his eventual launch onto the marriage mart, sponsored by his mother, for as he related to Roni, "It was probably high time that I settle myself down like the rest of my peers".

Mat was well aware of what was expected of him. A heir. And of course he was very quickly married, the Viscount Uzuki latched up by a respectable young lady of pedigree for who would turn down their noses at a man who was noble as well as wealthy. Not very many, for the Uzuki's were not prone to running their inheritances into the ground, but rather nurturing it and making it bigger then what their fathers had in their lifetime. And while he could deal rather well with Deirdre, there was certainly no love there and he with the occasional visits to her bed, let her do as she pleased.

As the Lady Uzuki, she adopted quite a bit of airs with herself and her importance, and Mat didn't really care to denounce her of the thought, he thought that it figured that she got along so well with his mother, he thought it boded ill too, but he never mentioned it, instead between tending the estate, he went to visit Jakob and Lirin often, taking tea with them and discussing matters that had nothing to do with Roni. And then nine months to his marriage with Deirdre, he had his heir, Jin. A fact that he was proud of, and so he doted on his son even though it was clear that Jin would be a little wildcard, those dancing green eyes in the infant boded scandel, and every time he giggled with laughter, Mat could forsee the obstacles. He immediately sent Roni notice as to the advent of his heir though he expected nothing back.

Now quite a few years passed in between Jin and his next child.. perhaps because Dierdre was too busy with her own London persuits, having developed her own court of followers, and he didn't seem inclined to stop her, he spent that time bringing Jin over to place a bright spot on Jakob's life since he knew that Jakob was barely carrying on. Jin took an instant liking to 'grandpa and grandma Fatima' and managed to get himself spoiled rotten by them, Mat thought that Jin should have -some- grandparents since he never had a chance to even meet his own. He noted that Jin was doted on and allowed to run rampant and like wildfire wherever he wanted.

The next child came because Mat wanted another child. He had told Dierdre quite plainly that he wanted another to secure the succession, even though he cared little about the succession, he was just lonely and wanted another child to call his own. For that excuse Dierdre allowed another trip to the marriage bed, and he was soon graced with the birth of Hyuga whom he marveled looked exactly like him, immediately the child was taken once again to Jakob to see, even though Jakob now had his own grandchildren to watch over.. but Hyuga was cherished in his own way, and Mat could see that whenever Jakob held the baby, there was the glimmer of tears in his eyes, perhaps it was because the traces of Jeriah's lineage was clear in him, which was just as clear in himself as Jeriah's firstborn.

Though there was a part of him that was relieved that Hyuga and Roni's firstborn had been born close together, he knew the significance of birthdays that were close, that his father and Roni's father had been a month apart, so had he and Roni. So he knew that if anything they would be best friends, and that was all he was holding out for. Love.. well he knew that Jakob had been in love with his father by this time in his life, it had been all but clear every time he ventured out riding in the mornings and saw Jakob taking his daily pilgrimage to the lake and when he rode back, he would find flowers softly scattered in the water, as if Jakob was paying his own tribute to his father. Such a love, Mat couldn't even begin to fathom.. certainly he couldn't apply it to the short summer that he and Roni had before everything tore asunder. But regardless he could feel the strength of that love, even beyond death. It had to be strong if day by day Jakob seemed to grow weaker and weaker from pining, but then Mat knew the pining had started years ago.

It was in the very early spring when Mat got the letter. He hadn't been dreading it but he hadn't been expecting it. Certainly there was apart of him that expected Roni's return, he was actually banking on just getting a call one afternoon and Roni just being there. That would of been what Mat would of expected, however instead there was the missive announcing that he would be in England with Shalimar, Maison and Sigurd within the month. Checking the postdate, he groaned, for it had been sent a month ago. This meant that Roni could be in England potentially, or within days of arriving.

Okay so he revised his opinion, this was nearly -as good- as a surprise. So he ran over to exchange words with Seren and Lirin and requesting that when Roni arrived, that he be notified.. since he liked his surprises unwrapped. It wouldn't do after all for their first meeting in over ten years to happen with Mat exceedingly cross at Roni. He didn't have to worry about Dierdre being around since she was in Belgium with his mother, that left him on the estate with Hyuga, Jin and their entourage of staff and nannies.

Now it became a waiting game until he was either notified or else Roni came by. But then he had plenty to do until then, Graiestones always needed work and there were the tenants to consider as well. But still he couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of.. happiness that Roni was coming back, even though he couldn't even begin to forsee how their first meeting would go. Mat had every confidence that they had both put behind them everything that had occured, all that time had to of, right?

</lj>

Mish, if we play that scene we are going to.. the first post into it will be yours since Mat's already established that he's sort of waiting for the signal.

~{Dragon Riders} Breathless | Jeriah - Astharthia ~

2007-05-07T00:03:09Z

DragonRiders | Rating: PG | Warning: allusions to a male/male relationship. | for shuufish who is the Solinth Priest that my little Jeriah adores so much.

"And if there's no tomorrow
And all we have is here and now
I'm happy just to have you
You're all the love I need somehow"

It was oftentimes on those long blizzard laced evenings at the very beginning of the snows when Jakob and Jeriah were curled up side by side in front of a fire with a book between them that Jeriah would tell Jakob about the meltings, the very beginnings of spring, the gradual warming of the earth, when the birds would fly back from Carilea where they had gone for the winter. In midst he told Jakob that he had been a meltings baby, that when he had been born, the earth had been starting it's process of melting so he always looked forward to his birthday for that reason solely. And somehow he managed to weasel Jakob's birthday out of him, and his delight was apparent when he found out that Jakob was a melting baby too, even though it was later in the process when the snow was scattered in patches but the ways between Carilea and Syratica were completely traversable.

Now that started to draw Jeriah into thought over what he should give Jakob for his birthday but he was never quite good with ideas unless he inadvertantly got that idea from listening to Jakob speak and trying to decipher anything that Jakob needed, but being in those arms on those long winter day, he wasn't sure if there was anything that Jakob needed.. he sounded like he was completely content. He didn't attribute it to him at all, but rather that Jakob must be happy here.

So he inquired of the other priestesses, they all had their ideas based on their particular hobbies, and all were eager to help Jeriah find a suitable birthday gift for the one that they could discern that Jeriah had chosen for himself. Most if not all of them had their own chosens, alot of them of Carilean blood who would come once the spring set in. Jeriah listened patiently however it was one that gave him pause.

"A picture of yourself perhaps?" Came, Inese, the painter of the priestesses who was aligned to Thalia.

Now he had to consider this because he didn't see a whole lot of use in a painting, there was nothing practical about it, he didn't think there would be signifigance to it, after all you couldn't wear a painting, it didn't keep you warm and Jeriah thought that it may be a boring gift, not even realizing that perhaps Jakob would even -want- a painting of him to treasure. The thought didn't even occur to him, however it was the best idea that Jeriah had been given and so he agreed to pose for Inese in a painting for Jakob.

That was what took up a large portion of January. He stole away during the court meetings that Jakob had so that he could sit for Inese's painting, wearing his robes, however he had directed her to paint him as she saw fit. And that is when the ideas started and he was suddenly put into many different positions, so many that his head nearly spun. However eventually a poise was settled on and he found himself on his knees, a cushion under them of course and pretty much doing anything that Inese said in terms of movement.

He wasn't even sure what the painting looked like though he was curious, but she wasn't going to let him see it until she was done, so he went through a dozen or so sittings before finally she declared it finished and he was able to look at it. What he saw made his cheeks flush just a bit and he wasn't sure if Jakob would -want- a picture like this.

On it he was knelt in front of a shrine to Solinth, him clothed in his Lunneth robes with those same robes falling over his shoulders, his hair in a disarray as if he had just engaged in something not so innocent at the shrine, the mere thought caused Jeriah's cheeks to flush, and his face upturned to the rays of the rising sun which caressed his face like that of a lover and his lips full as if he had just been kissed throughly, and that look of rapture, there was something slightly.. scandelous about the picture, holy and yet intensely erotic.

"He couldn't want.. something like this?" he flushed as he sort of turned his head away from the picture, just looking at it caused his cheeks to heat somewhat painfully. Especially considering nothing had ever happened beyond soft and sweetly chaste kisses and he couldn't imagine what Jakob would think of he saw a picture like that, so inherently wanton.

Inese had been about to say something to her young priest friend however she decided against it, deciding that it would be better to let Jeriah learn gradually what was acceptable and what wasn't between him and the one he loved. Instead she promised to wrap it up and store it away until he should wish to give it to the Solinth priest.

"It's like a dream
Although I'm not asleep
And I never want to wake up"

~*~

Added Note: Jeriah is the only muse that when he thinks about smut with Jakob, he starts crying.. not in a bad way.. but he's one of those souls that are very sensitive and emotional, I blame it on the double pisces and the cancer in his main three signs.

~{Victorian} "Time won't give me Time"~

2007-05-07T00:00:10Z

{In the Xenogears/saga RP AU both I and shuufish is doing, we are concentrating on three generations of men. All of them incarnations of Hyuga and Sigurd. Jeriah Fatima and Jakob Uzuki, their sons Roni and Mathias, and then Hyuga and Sigurd following after. This is Mat's story and this occurs around the time of his father's death.. but LONG before Jin, Hyuga, Citan and Shion are born to him... in fact this is well before he marries} *insert my Mat icon here*

"Don't make me feel any colder,
Time is like a clock in my heart.
Touch me, touch..
Was the heat too much?
I felt I lost you from the start"

The day that Roni told him that he was going to India soon to tend his father's estates therein, Mathias Uzuki did the only thing that he could do, something that was purely instinctual to him. He had to push Roni away, this worked doubly in matters of the heart such as this where he stood to hurt very much. That had been the case when Roni had earlier that summer made moves on him, moves that Mathias tried to push aside to protect his own heart. If it hadn't been for Roni's proactive wooing, the clambers up the trellis toward his chambers, the constant formal calls along with the moonlight then he probably would of stayed alot more constant in his resolve. But Roni had a way of infiltrating him, casting light where shadows only lay. And after Roni proved that he wouldn't leave, would stay there in Mat's heart, then Mat fully opened up and gave Roni his body and his soul.

That is why that morning had come as a slap in the face, like cold water on a pleasant dream. When those words were uttered, he scrambled to get away for this hurt far worse and was exactly what he had been trying to protect his heart against. Against Roni leaving him, and yet it was still happening. He tore away from Roni's embrace and ran out of the Fatima estate. He could hear Roni's voice calling out after him but he refused to pause, he didn't want to hear Roni's reasons that would fall upon ears that didn't want excuses.

The week before Roni's ship was to leave, Mat refused to leave the manor. Not until Roni sent word that he wasn't leaving, but no such word came.. nothing. And despite the calls that came, he had told the servents to deny Roni entrance. He didn't know that often times his own father in his gentle way would override the servant's instructions and invite Roni in to talk, not about Mat. No never, for Jeriah had known that Mat needed his own time to think not to mention he also realized that Mat was far different from himself, made of more stubborn material.

Trays were sent up to his room as he morosed and brooded, refusing any communication. His heart breaking just a little bit which each day that Roni refused to give in to him. Certainly he was stubborn where matters of the heart was concerned, and perhaps he was a bit selfish too, after all this was his first love and first loves were not something that became perfect immediately. That entire week was spent languishing over his hurt, over what he wanted, for it was very much what he wanted. But the day came and went, and afterwards.. there were no poundings on his door, no more rocks thrown at his window. It was depressing to acknowledge, but the truth was that Roni had left for India.

The week afterward was bleak. He finally left his room while he found himself trying to convince himself that he was better to have ended it now. They were both lords after all, and lords needed ladies, not other lords. There was the succession to consider, and every time he thought about it, he realized that it was better that they had broken it off. Every time he thought about Roni's golden hair or those laughing blue eyes, he would sternly remind himself that Roni was the one who had -left- him. In his mind it was all Roni's fault for Mat was very good at placing the blame at a door without attributing any of it to himself.

He actually wanted Roni to write to him to profusely apologize for leaving, he constantly looked for letters that would tell him that Roni was miserable there in malaria-infested India so that he could deliver a lashing set-down. Perhaps even then he would of taken Roni back if there was enough begging. But no letters, and after a few months he realized that none were coming.

And so what did Mat do but he applied himself to learning estate business because it got his mind off of everything, it caused him not to think of Roni so much. Though certainly he wouldn't even go near the barn, or any of their old haunts, he didn't want to relieve memories of their empassioned embraces that were suddenly relegated to the shabby past. His father though was patient with him, and in the mornings he'd ride out with him to the tenants, sometimes Jakob would accompany them. But for the most part his father let him do most of the talking with them. His father tried to include him additionally whenever they took the boat off onto the lake, but often times Mat refused because Jakob was his father's best friend.. not his own.

And so learning to be a proper lord gave him a definite purpose and he set himself upon learning, not even realizing that very soon he would need that strength and the knowledge.

The night that his father disappeared, he was called upon to head up a search party in the storm, Jakob the other. It was the two of them that took their groups through the property, himself shouting his father's name loudly through the wind and roar. Soaked and wet and with more pressing things to worry about, there was nothing that he could do except search and hope that his father had made it to safety through the brunt of the storm. It was certain that he was just as worried as Jakob, in fact he never realized that his father's best friend was so frantic. It gave him pause, for he considered it.. if it were Roni.. but then his mind denied that thought automatically as something that he shouldn't.

But with the dawn came the news that Jeriah had been found.. dead. That was the start of the pall. Immediately upon hearing the news, Mat had been contacted by his father's man of business but it hit hard with him and so he hid away from it, just enough so that he could grieve. Luckily though Jakob stepped in, despite the tears that he could see unshed in the other man's blue eyes. And Mat was allowed to grieve underneath the care of Jakob and Lirin, not even going back to his mother's house for the time being. The death hit him hard, and up to the funereal and even after, he wished desperately to have a shoulder to lean on, wishing that he had never sent Roni away, that he had a friend. Certainly he knew that he could talk to Jakob and Lirin if he wanted to, but they were dealing with their own sorrow and he dare not intrude upon it.

Certainly Mat wished that the summer had never occured between them to complicate things, that he had been strong enough that Roni wouldn't have ever entered his heart, for perhaps then he'd have a shoulder to cry on and not an empty pillow to vent his sorrow, all the doubts and fears that nested in his psyche could come to light, for like it or not, he was the next Viscount Uzuki.

"Oh. in time it could of been so much more,
But time is precious I know..
In time it could of been so much more..
But time has nothing to show"

*crossposted to shitan

~Dragonriders: Anubituf~

2007-04-15T15:09:18Z

Anubituf was apart of the royal guard in the capital, it was one of those positions that he had been given because of his skill and dextrity, his seeming devotion to Syratica and all that it entailed. He was in charge of a great many troops, something that was nearly unprecedented for one so young. But he had a certain strength about himself that denoted that he was far stronger then what met the eye. He wasn't exactly the tallest soldier in his crew, in fact he came very near to being the shortest one, but despite his height, his spirit was the tallest that anyone could imagine.

It was a simple evening when he recieved the missive at his quarters. A knock had fell on the door but Anubituf couldn't be angry at that, it was actually extremely very rare that he was able to sleep the entire night without someone contacting, so he went to the door, clad in only a pair of pants and opened it to see a maid holding a missive, all he did was hold out his hand and the missive was deposited and then then the maid turned around and left as was proper. He looked down at it and then slipped back into his room in order to open it in private.

Lieutenant Anubituf,

E. has moved, S. is gone up in flames. R. will meet. Be at Q.H in 6 candlemarks. Will decide where to go from there.

B.v.R

Anubituf's brows furrowed as he read over the missive, feeling a coiling of dread before he stalked over to the fireplace and threw the missive into it, which immediately brought it into the flames which would conceal it from prying eyes. He started to pace then, knowing that whatever was discussed would be the utmost of importance. ~Sweet Dereth..~. the knowledge was almost too comical to believe, how could it be that they would do something that insane, but it was so insane that he knew that it would be blamed on other outside forces, because -everyone- knew that Carilea and Asthartia were the -real- enemies in this situation.

Well sleep wouldn't be coming, he walked over to his wardrobe to take out a clean shirt and throw it on. He knew that he would work on gathering some information as to what had happened and if their was any survivors. He had remembered escorting the priests to the Shrine Spring, that had been his duty and with the turmoil of workings in the priesthood, he had known that the priests that had been sent to the shrine were sent there predominately for confinement, to still their outspokenness while under the knowledge that they were working for the will of the goddess, Dereth.

Out of his room Anubituf went, heading down the hallway and descending into the mass hold where the troops spent their leisure hours. There were some soldiers recently having returned from an assignment, and if there was one thing that Anubituf knew, it was that a soldier would admit to -anything- when plied with enough alchohol. And so he obtained the keys to the storage room for the ale and then had several carts wheeled out into the common room, and then very pleasantly he came out, with a smile that if one didn't know him well enough, boded rather ill for those on the recieving end. "A job well done, and I've been sent to reward you with all the ale you can drink!" he proclaimed loudly toward the soldiers milling at tables and cots. There was a cheer sent up and then the ale cart was taken off his hands.

All Anubituf had to do was wait the space of an hour, by the time the ale was gone, he'd have alot of the answers that he wanted, including who ordered the desecration of the temple. Inwardly he thought that most of the soldiers looked like heaving drunken pigs, but he also kept that to himself, and when pressed with a cup, he took it but merely nursed it as he needed most of his faculties for the interrogation that he'd be conducting.

Two hours later, right when dawn was rising over the sky, he exited the Soldier's keep armed with the information that he needed which he'd promptly take to the Leader of the Resistance. Along with it was the knowledge that only two of the three priests had been killed, that meant that there was another one out there.. and if he could manage it, he would go himself to bring the priest back, perhaps put him into hiding underneath the resistance's wing. There was that bit of hope that he would succumb to, and even though he lamented the loss of life, he hoped upon hope that the one who had survived had been Guragief.

~Victorian: The Conclusion to the Story of Jeriah and Jakob~

2007-04-15T14:22:57Z

Because Jeriah wanted to write this... and I needed to post this up before I started on Anubituf's ficbit

Jeriah had understood the need for Jakob to take care of business and he could have easily waited, choosing to spend his ghostly presence where he had by all accounts and purposes had died, he didn't even know how he had died, one moment he had been asleep, the next moment he had remembered water, and then the next moment this. Being a ghost afforded him quite a bit of leniancy, not everyone was aware of him, but those who were usually tossed it off as their imagination. He had watched the people come and go along the lake, had seen his son visit the lake many times as well as Jakob. He knew that there were questions, questions that even he couldn't answer. But he knew that he still had a heart, especially when he saw Jakob walking the shore desolately, he could tell that the man had grown older in the span of a year, it had caused him his own brand of sorrow, but he knew that Jakob was still needed on the earthly plane, at least for a little while longer. And Jeriah, well he knew how to wait and he could do that as was needed.

When Jakob sat on the shore, Jeriah would often come out.. not as a ghostly spirit but as a defineable presence, sitting near Jakob, wrapping around him in something as close as he could get to a hug, even though it wasn't something physically felt, he knew that it helped Jakob do what he needed to do.

But still, Jeriah waited, and really waiting for a few years was like a drop in the pool of eternity, for when he felt the last of Jakob's life energy drain away, he knew that he would be there, would feel that call in every pore of his ethereal body.

It came on a spring morning. That undefineable little ebb, he departed his lake for this one occasion, and then he was there, in the study where he saw Jakob pouring over his old forgotten diary, as if waiting for him. And for once he was able to muster the courage to take a definite form, though that was in part aided by weakening thread that connected Jakob to the world, he peeked in like he had done in life, a little presence that grew stronger as it enfolded the entire contents of the room, he saw Jakob look up with those blue eyes shining in the creases of his face, but that didn't matter because Jeriah had seen, and would always see Jakob as how his love had painted him, the most beautiful person in the world.

"Are you.. ready to go?" he said, offering up his hand for Jakob to take, knowing that he would help ease Jakob into the realm of the specteral. He watched as Jakob reached for his hand, dropping the book down onto the floor. He smiled gently and then very softly tugged. As Jakob's soul came to him, the body that had been Jakob's fell back onto the couch, though if Jakob had even bothered to look back at the mortal vessal, he would of seen a gentle smile etched there, as if he had seen something wonderful.

But what was truly important was Jakob, in spirit form hovering so very close to him, so close that their energies mingled and connected, tangling as if they couldn't quite get enough of each other. And he let their energies connect and bliss against each other. It was hard to describe but as close as they had gotten in life, and that struggle to be as one, it was never more apparent that was a mere shadow compared to this.. and Jeriah had a feeling that their lives had been building to this single moment when their souls had come back to being as one.

And as they both hazed out, it was the knowledge that this was truly the beginning of forever, for them.

~Victorian: The Life and Death of Jeriah Uzuki~

2007-04-11T16:53:49Z

Far too human to let go
I fight the river and the flow
I fight the love and the fear
I do not want to leave you here

Being a Viscount had never been what Jeriah Uzuki had wanted, however he had been an only child and so that was surely expected of him that he would learn to deal with people, with the land.. all sorts of things. Much like those before and those who would come after, Jeriah had dreams that the title would invariably get in the way with, he had wanted to be someone who worked with either plants or animals, he had never been used to or particularly good at dealing with people. He didn't even get along with his parents, for they thought that he was odd and while they didn't say as much, he could sense it and it caused him to keep his distance.

There was only one true companion in his life, the boy from the neighboring estate who would stay out in the days with him, hunting bird's eggs, searching for rare flowers. The heir to the Fatima line, and somehow Jeriah knew that Jakob was considered a bit odd too. It just meant that they were wholly on their own. It was the type of relationship where their was quiet and mutual understanding between them, that they were allies, though Jeriah was shy about that proclaimation, still if anyone wanted to talk to Jeriah, it was certain that they would need to go through Jakob, since Jeriah oftentimes hid behind Jakob like a wall.

The seasons of their youth were precious, there was nothing that would keep them back from enjoying that which life gave them. Even though the world of grown-ups would sneak up on them perhaps sooner then they would be used to, for Jeriah's parents died fairly early, leaving Jeriah in the hands of an Uncle who had control of Jeriah's inheritance. Almost immediately after that Jeriah was moved to London and away from his childhood playmate, still being a boy though by that time he had been on the threshhold of becoming a man. There was perhaps nothing that had anguished Jeriah more then to be moved away from the young boy that had been his anchor, and he hadn't been sure he could do things alone. Many tears had been shed into his pillows along with the silent knowledge that he felt more for Jakob then what could be deemed proper, surely a heart that ached that badly meant something, Jeriah wasn't blind into recognizing that.

But the years passed, five long and cheerless years in Jeriah's life in which he was forced into social situations that he did not want to be in, forced to be introduced around London and make his bows, even though wherever he went, he was still considered odd, for his shy and retiring ways as well as for his tendancy to slip off at the very moment when it was deemed socially acceptable. But he was rich and there would be young marriageable women that swarmed him, leading him to think that he was going to drown. That was when Jakob's advent into the social season came like a life saver, and so they became somewhat allies in finding wives. Jeriah though still held onto that secret love in his heart for the Lord Fatima and perhaps it came through in it's own ways, with the ways that when he was next to Jakob, noone else existed for him.

Then came the advent of Shiori into Jeriah's life. An advent that rocked him like a storm, and in the scheme of things it would be the single worst mistake that Jeriah would ever make, for she was of the type that she sniffled around Jakob while paying her attentions to Jeriah, as if she was trying to marry one and the score the other for a dalliance, however there were many sides that surrounded Jeriah and pretty much forced the pressing of his suit to her. He didn't like her, could feel her mocking him with her eyes but he offered for her, hoping that he could go back to his estate and forget about the glittering season which he so disliked, the only highlight having been when Jakob had entered to make it a bit more bearable.

And so Jeriah was married in all pomp and ceremony and he immediately took her back to his estate, hoping that Jakob would follow soon.. though he knew that Jakob still needed to find a wife, he could get through a few months to a year without Jakob's company, he had done it for five years.. but while he was in country, he wished for Jakob to come home sooner and sooner, because he missed the other with a lingering pain in his heart that made the seperation neigh unendurable.

And with the advent of Autumn, he recieved that call from Lord Fatima, the two of them now Lords of their very own estates. He rushed to Jakob's side and tried not to leave it overmuch save to eat and sleep, since the Uzuki and Fatima estates bordered each other, they shared alot of tenants, so Jeriah would go out accompanied by Jakob and they would visit them, with Jakob doing the talking, and Jeriah standing aside and trying to figure out what they could do to make improvements for each tenants, be it repairing a roof or working a little while in the gardens to winterize it. Together they were a team.

One evening came that which changed everything, with Shiori coming and telling him that she was pregnant, but that the child wasn't his. But that it was the child of his best friend. It was almost as if she wanted to instill discord in the both of them, figuring that to put a rip in the trust would make it easier to lure Jakob to her bed, but she miscalculated on several levels.

Jeriah wasn't one who could believe that of Jakob, he knew that if it were to happen, then Jakob wouldn't lie. There was that glittering of trust, that if something like that truly had happened, Jakob would tell him if he asked, so he rode his way to the Fatima estate, seeking to ask Jakob for the truth. Jeriah didn't want to think about if it was the truth, knowing that if it was.. there would be a part of him that would surely be destroyed. His friend recieved him in the impromptu visit with wine and some snacks but Jeriah wasn't hungry and he stood at the door of the library, his back against it while he uttered that question in his uncertain and quavering voice. "Is.. the child that Shiori is carrying.. is.. it.. yours?" and then his eyes falling shut while he waited for those words to come in Jakob's familar voice.. either yes, or no.

Instead he felt arms pull him into an embrace and Jakob's whispered voice against his ear. "It is a strong word, but I loathe your Viscountess... and if I were to bed anyone other then my wife, it certainly would not be her." and at those words, Jeriah relaxed and let out a sigh of relief, closing his eyes and just holding Jakob close and then the next words took him completely by surprise. "But there is no room in my heart to be in love with anyone but you." and that was the start of the unfolding, the sweet confession that caused Jeriah to become a blabbering idiot and spill out his entire feelings for Jakob, perhaps they were a bit messy and not very coherent, but at least they were said.

With that, Jeriah went back knowing that Jakob's constancy was true, and their relationship developed from their, growing deeper with every meeting between them, through that winter helping Shiori with the child that she declared was Jakob's. Jeriah let throw the blame and he let her, and perhaps even allowed her to think that him and Jakob weren't speaking so much anymore. Even though he went over on a nightly basis to spend time with Jakob and his wife, who's company he far preferred. The winter turned to spring and then the spring to summer before Jeriah's heir, Mat was born. When Shiori saw that child was indeed Jeriah's, she refused to care for the little one, leaving Jeriah stricken as he went to Jakob to ask him what he should do, but he didn't need to do anything.. for Lirin took one look at the crying little Mathias and then she relieved him of Jeriah's hands, she was due to have a child at any time and could nurse Mathias with ease. It was also extremely true that Jeriah stayed the next few weeks at the Fatima house, never leaving except for changes of clothing. In a way Mat was bonding with the only family that really mattered. It would colour how he viewed his own mother, and how he considered Lirin his own.

Jeriah let Mat run rampant with Jakob's son, Roni.. never allowing anything get in the way of their friendship and knowing that they would have the same bond that their father's had, for Jeriah knew that there was no one he loved more, each touch, each gaze however hidden it was, each stolen moment in their little love nest that was just theirs, a cottage that Jakob had built for them at the property line that divided the two estates, a symbol that in this space.. it wasn't his or Jeriah's.. but rather theirs.

Through the years, Shiori continued to persue Jakob in between her jaunts to London in which to aquire her own legion of mindless slaves, and to do shocking things that would throw tarnish on the Uzuki name. Though none of them really mattered to Jeriah for he had everything he needed and it didn't matter, he was content with his life and what he had given with, this Shiori saw and it drove her mad to see what precious thing her husband hand that kept him oblivious to every insensitive thing that she tried to do to inspire ire in him. And so one night shortly before Roni left for India, she followed her husband out on one of his evenings out to see where he would go, for he often did that, just up and leaving without telling anyone. What she discovered served to completely unhinge her, for underneath the tree just outside the cottage she spied Jakob waiting for Jeriah to dismount from his horse, and then after the horse had been let loose to graze, she saw her husband approach Jakob, there was a shift and they were in each other's arms, exchanging a lip lock that couldn't be mistaken as platonic in the slightest.

That evening was marked as the evening that Jeriah's death was certain, at least in Shiori's eyes.

It was a stormy night two years later, the wind howling and crashing on the lake that rested opposite of the two estates, a large lake where most boating occured, an occupation that Jakob and Jeriah had adopted very recently. The waves were chaotic and unpredictable, and the storm lasted all of a night, that night was the night that Jeriah disappeared, with Shiori alerting those around the area to keep on a lookout for the Viscount, making sure that the word reached the Fatima estate that Jeriah was missing.

Search parties were sent out however the visibility was dim, nothing could be seen within a few feet and the search parties were bade to go back and search when the storm had cleared, the lake had been searched, at least the perimeter since it was discovered that Jakob's boat had turned up missing as well.

The morning came, the clearing of the storm following it.. and it was then that Jeriah's body washed up on the shore of the lake, a pale imitation of what it had been in life, unbreathing and ultimately with the soul having left the body. He was pronounced dead and word was given to the searchers, of which one of their numbers was Lord Fatima. Then came the autopsy which in those days wasn't thorough, there was no indication of foul play... merely drowning, and then came the formalization of the title being passed on to Mathias. All of which happened in too quick of a time for it to truly be absorbed. Little traces of Jeriah clung to the folds of life, his presence felt along the lake, as if he was waiting for something or maybe even someone, the spiritual energy that radiated from the lake those few weeks after his death were great.. as if he was refusing to pass on completely. But regardless that lake would always hold the insignia of his life-presence, even after his death.

If I could speak in tongues of flame
I'd burn forever with your name
And take it with me through all time
I would remember who you are
In every life I'd touch your heart
In every dream

~The Flame: Larsa~ {Final Fantasy XII}

2007-04-07T15:57:22Z

Title: "The Flame"
Fandom: Final Fantasy XII
Song Inspiration: "The Flame" by Arcadia (duran duran off-shoot band)
Rating: PG-13 if only because there are alot of fluffy feelings mentioned.
Pairings: Larsa/Al-Cid with mentions of Larsa/Penelo in terms of marriage
Notes: This is what's been in my mind, waiting for the right time to come out. The dynamic of Larsa and Al-Cid appeal to me because if you think about the type of cultures that both represent, Larsa is decidedly british and Al-Cid is spanish. Well historically England and Spain haven't liked each other a whole lot.. so I like the thought of in the ficitional world, both Princes making an effort to see eye to eye amid cultures that are near polar opposites. Also, while this doesn't mention shota of any type, Feelings of a questionable nature between a young 13 year old and his much older friend and ally lay underneath the surface. (But then most people that know me, if I do write shota, I try to write it so that it is absolutely clear that both parties are on equal ground... I hate the balance of control being completely on oen side.) This isn't beta'd either, because I am lazy. -_-

"I could feel the breeze,
Blowing change,
Blowing through my doorway.
Warm and restless just as you walk by"

Having been the young prince of the Archadian empire as well as adopting the title of Emperor upon the death of his older brother, Vayne. Larsa had alot of time to concentrate upon his new position as monarch of his country. Now with Vayne gone, there was certainly a type of calm and peace that had settled. Larsa had seen to it that he sent reconstituion to those contries that had suffered underneath his brother's nefarious plans. Dalmasca and Nalbadina having recieved as much aid as could be mustered by the work of his pen as he passed laws and measures. Certainly this was all really hard work for a 13 year old, but Solidor men had always been gifted with genius as well as charisma. Anyone who followed them, would follow near blindly.

But Larsa had no need for blind loyalty or affection from anyone. As a youth, he had found out what he knew from questioning the way things were, and those questions sent him all over the place, into places that his brother would of severely reprimanded him for such precociousness on his part. But even as he looked upon a draft, he had to admit that his natural inquisitiveness had led him to some wonderful places and equally wonderful people. There was Basch, his trusted bodyguard and advisor, he though that it was good to keep the opinions of someone not invested in the kingdom close by. Basch told him in his usual gruff way when he thought something wasn't particularly adviseable. Then there was Penelo, someone that he'd call in to dance for him. She was the type of girl that he hoped to marry, thinking that she would make a very good Queen, though he realized that the age of thirteen was perhaps too young to think of marriage, however when the time was right he knew he'd press his suit. But if marriage didn't occur, he did not plan on caging her.. she'd be as free as a bird and able to do whatever she pleased.. just as long as sometimes she'd dance for him.

Then there was his very first friend, the mere thought of him could at times cause Larsa's brows to either bunch together or his lips to curve into a smile, depending upon the memory that he was recalling.

He realized he had been young and perhaps it had been foolish to sneak into Rozzarria like that. Considering the fact that both empires had been consistantly at odds with each other for as long as he could remember. But there was something vibrant that attracted him once he had gotten off the airship. A life that was so vitally different from what he had been accustomed too. The streets were filled with life, the people were dancing and celebrating, the sun bore down hotly but to make up for that there was unbrella'd little alcoves to sit and nestle away from the heat of the sun. Most women didn't wear much but then neither did the women. All of these he soaked up like a greedy child that was unused to such a lack of inhibition. By nature he was proper and was considered to be a little prim too, so he knew that he stuck out like a sore thumb.

But the nights, the nights in Rozzaria was like no other, the moon coming out, lanterns dangling in the streets, an air of revelry filled every entrance, nook and cranny. He could of just have easily lurked in the shadows and just watched, it was all so very fascinating, this new culture, this new explosion of thought, idea, the fact that the mind -didn't- rule everything. It was all about what felt right at the time, a concept that was near foreign to Larsa. He stood in the shadows all night, watching the dancing and the wine passing freely from squash shaped carafes. He would of stayed there forever had a hand lightly tapped him on the shoulder, and he had to turn around in order to see who had discovered him.

And found himself looking up into merry grey eyes that seemed to be framed by blue purple hair that just didn't want to stay in the same place for more then a few seconds, Larsa figured it was the dancing. Everything about the older guy was generous; his lips, his facial stubble, his shoulders and if one traveled downwards, his clothing and physique was just as generous as everything else. That was the start of three days of adventure in which this young man conducted him on a tour of his country, from merely finding out that the little one had never -seen- it before. Everything, Larsa found out, had a story behind it. From the woman who baked her bread in the early mornings, to the orange trees that danced in the center of the capital city. All of this fascinated Larsa and he made sure to ask questions upon questions, so many questions then one normally would have patience with, but which this man answered with debonair aplomb.

That was when Larsa begin thinking outside the box, not about just Archadies, but about everywhere else too. His curiousity sparked for other such countries, finding that this man was showing him that there was a story to everything.. and a veritible rhyme and reason to things. The three days that he enjoyed with his generous tour guide was perhaps more then he had ever expected, started finding that he liked it when the other man called him 'his little bluebird' though he took it for the fact that this culture was exceedingly open about many things, open in the way that his country wasn't. Larsa was used to devotion and loyalty, but never affection.. even the affection he was given from Drace was still cool and inhibited, but he found he liked everything that the man was teaching him, about how to live.. and how to laugh.

At the end of the three days, Larsa had not wanted to leave, though he hadn't wanted it to come because he knew that his tour guide deserved to know the truth as to who he really was, it was only fair.. for there had been a level of trust that had passed between them, and Larsa would of felt shoddy had he not told him something as to identity, so he did and with baited breath, not even realizing that his revealing would lead to something far greater, a revolution of sorts. And yet those memories lived on, of watching the man hit on every pretty little thing at his side, and thereby causing Larsa to groan with the way that after a fashion he had been able to tell when it was coming. He didn't dare to think that those three days could of been the man hitting on him, being considered a pretty little thing himself. He was much too practical to be woo'd in that manner as of yet.. and there had been so much for him to do that he didn't have time to dwell on such things when other more entrancing concepts hit him from all sorts of fields.

The pen hovered mid-air and a smile on his face as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand, thinking of lantern-light and the soft scent of cologne that was familar to his memory and caused his brown eyes to grow a bit dreamy. So much that he barely noticed Basch's voice clearing.

"Prince Al-Cid Margrace is here to see you... and would like a private audience" he could hear the resigned tone to Basch's voice and he tuned out of his dreams.

Before he could respond, there was the sound of a sweeping.. for the Prince of Rozzaria's entrances were never silent, and a husky voice thick with the accent of his country rang out. "It's been a few weeks, my charming little bluebird.. I was hoping to heigh you off to an afternoon's adventure if you've the mind." and the scent of cologne crossed the border of memories and into reality. Larsa smiled softly and got up from his desk, it was a nice afternoon in Archadies and he had done enough work for the morning. Able to shed the worries of his position, and just be. That was Al-Cid's gift to him.

"Never put my trust in fate,
Surprises do arrive so late
Why should I be surprised by you?"

~Asthartia: Lunneth and Solinth~

2007-03-02T23:03:41Z

"So don't be afraid
Your heart is in me
And it's racing so fast now
Cause everything we ever were or ever will be
Is shapeless as a changing cloud"

Even the gods had a longing to be human at times.. to do the things that humans did. Lunneth longed for mortality, just a taste of it.. to feel what it was like to live, to indulge in things that only humans could. Human emotions, all of those mysteries intriqued him and while he was frightened of it, he knew that it was a wish of his, he took it to Solinth, for there was no one who knew his heart more then his god lover. A path that they had, the stars connecting the sun and the moon.. the only thing that connected their path, and yet it wasn't a path on which they could linger for very much, for they were seperated by the barrier between night and day.

The moon heralded the sun's presence.. and the sun sank to make way for the moon. They worked as one though one was composed of two, of meeting very barely.. for their realms never crossed together except in the hour before dawn, and the hour before dusk, those are the exact moments when they kissed, when the torch was passed. A kiss good morning and a kiss goodnight.

The greatest romance ever, and yet they were not allowed to live it. That caused Lunneth so much sorrow, so much that he went to the fates, those beings that governed even the gods movements. Asked if there was something that they could do, if they could have a taste of that which mortals know so clearly, for mortal love was something that was to be envied, even amongst the gods. For as many times as Lunneth had written his love on the moon for his Solinth nightly, there was that pure desire for the simplicity, he knew he wouldn't ask for much, just for the chance to be on earth, to be with Solinth on earth and discover the joys that were to be had, all of which he did not know, but looked so beautiful enacted between their followers.

To Fate, Lunneth went. He made his plea and then the conditions were stated. He and Solinth would be sent to earth, as two different individuals, with no memories of their love, of their god-hood, of each other. They would be given the full taste of mortality but with no guarentees that they would find each other. That would be the risk inherent in their descent to earth, but it would be one that they would have to accept. Moments were uncertain and yet their duties would be taken care of, for Fate would make sure that prayers were answered and that night and day kept itself on it's steady and sure course.

Lunneth knew that he would have to take this risk, it wasn't something that he would question, he would descend even for the chance that he would find Solinth.. so going to his lover, meeting him before the sun descended into night, pressing his lips against his cheeks and whispering softly, "Follow me.. and find me." uttering for Solinth's ears only. "I believe in you..." and then slipping from his lover's embrace and into the realm of humanity like a moonbeam fallen to earth.

It was a chance that Lunneth knew he was taking, and yet he believed that they would meet, whatever situation or circumstance, he knew there would be that pull.. no matter that Fate was pulling themselves from their matters.. it wasn't fate, it was the pull of their spirits that would lead them to each other. For night could never be without day.

And Jeriah Leontes felt that same call, especially when he became a Priest of Lunneth, the only male to be accepted in a religion that normally only females were called to. Himself being a dove rider, something that had been almost unheard of, and yet at his time of choosing it caused alot of stir in a tradition that had been predominantely of females, and yet he was still accepted as one of the nine. The peace and secludity suited him, for he had been born shy and infinitely gentle, choosing not to go out over much, but staying in the sanctuary where it was safe... despite that inner tug in his heart saying that he should go outside, for something beautiful awaited him. But because there were no memories, he knew not what it was, and he was afraid of that self-same tug.

Perhaps it would find him.

"Your letter written on the sky
I'm needing now to read it through my eyes
When you see just what I see
Then tenderly watch it change
And just let it be"

~Brady: Jeriah~

2006-12-31T17:09:36Z

Really Jeriah had wanted to make his home into a place where Sigele would want to come afterschool to play. It had taken alot of strength however the night before Sigele was to start school, and he was start picking her up, he went out to the neighborhood market to pick up some toys for her. It had been shy and a bit awkward on his part, he didn't even like to go out and mingle with people, however very carefully he skittered down the toy aisle and started to select things that he thought that perhaps Sigele would want. Playdoh was placed into his basket, along with colouring books and markers, he didn't have a whole lot of colouring books at his house, and viewing the collection of those colouring books, he knew that he was sadly lacking in alot of them.

He also picked up some games, like candyland. All children liked candyland, right? He remembered his copy but he was certain it was packed up in the attic of their old home, an older version of it from the 70s, probably by now yellowed with 20 years of age. The board game was tucked underneath his arm and he was actually quite thankful that it was in the middle of the afternoon so the toy aisle was blissfully empty.

A toy my little pony also seemed to make it's way into his basket, he didn't know how it got there but he decided to keep it there with it's purple shiny mane. There was a longing that she be at home at his house, even though he didn't know it himself that he wanted to make her happy while she was over at his in the afternoons, and that took form in material things that seemed to be manifestations of the honest desire in his heart. And then there was the hula-hoop, she could learn and it would give Wookie something to bark at. as if he needed anything else to bark at.. he certainly barked enough at the random knockings on his door.

All of his treasures he took to the register, placing them a bit awkwardly on the conveyor and watching them slide down the belt. All he could think of was if Sigele would like these tributes of a very devoted knight. So much he was musing on it that he forgot his shyness momentarily when he was paying for what was now presents, presents that would be kept over at his house for when she came over. He paid for them and then headed back to the apartment with his arms laden with things.

Once inside his sanctuary, he began to see that he had no suitable place to put these things. And it became clear that Sigele needed a little nook for her things, she couldn't sit at the counter, the chairs were too high off the ground and she might fall off, and the coffee table was always so filled up with his things, like his laptop or books, and so after he placed all of his purchases on the floor, he went out again.. something that was nearly unprecedented in his normal routine.

The next place he went to was a children's furniture store and then selected a tiny little desk in a bright purple, it even had a little chair for a child and drawers where she could put her crayons, markers and colouring books. It was sized perfectly to fit Sigele and so he bought it, the price.. well it didn't matter for it was his own way of making Sigele comfortable.

The next thing on his list when I finally got home with the desk was to find a spot to place it. Many spots were probably appropriate however none really appeased him. The blank spaces where a desk could go was too far away from where he normally was and he wanted to be able to sit at his desk and she at hers, perhaps quiet time. He thought about it and finally the only option that he could think of was to move his desk closer to the corner where he had put Sigele's. And so came the process of moving his desk, but first he had to move the bookcases out of the way.. and that became a long drawn out process with a break in order to walk Wookie. What had started out as a simple shopping trip became the rearranging of most of his living room to accomodate the desk that he had bought her. Afterwards Jeriah curled up on the couch, a few hours earlier then when he normally went to bed, having forgotten to find his bed, but that was alright because he was happy, and the house was ready for Sigele to come and spend a few hours of every day with it.

Mentally though Jeriah had moved the fear inside his heart around, pushed it back to make room for Sigele, and that was what truly mattered.

~Sun Always Shines on TV~

2006-12-25T07:23:42Z

RP Inspir': Brady RP (involving myself and kyoraku)
Characters involved: Hakkai, with mention of his father, Tenpou.
Warnings: Drug-usage and a bit of angst.

"I reached inside myself and found..
Nothing there to ease the pressure of my ever worrying mind"

Most would be surprised that Hakkai, a high school Junior was actually living by himself. Though there were a few high school students that were on their own, they usually had to work to support themselves, Hakkai did no such thing for one thing. He would of gotten a job anywhere to assert his independance save for perhaps the social security checks that were entailed, and then that meant that his employers would know exactly who he was the son of, and really wanted to avoid any recognition, choosing instead to move far away so that the scandel hungry talons of the papparazzi wouldn't reach him.

Not to mention his place wasn't at all shabby, it was on the wealthy side of of the city, as he figured out.. a few blocks from where Shunsui and his family lived. He lived in an apartment, it wasn't a coveted penthouse but the apartment was fairly posh with it's own valet service and everything. Not like he needed valet service since his trusty jeep he parked by himself though the private concierge service was nice. The apartment building provided the anonymity that he wanted, something his father allowed him, even if his father wouldn't let him get far enough away until he legally turned 18 years old.

Hakkai certainly wasn't his father's biggest fan. In fact he positively loathed him, for it had caused his mother's death.. a bottle of valium overdose from the stress of their life and the problems that they had been having. His mother's death, it was ruled to be suicide and yet Hakkai placed the blame at his father's feet because he knew that if they had a normal familial relationship, it wouldn't of happened.

And so they lay at odds with each other, father and son. And a gulf that might never be fixed. Hakkai went to his seperate apartment and conducted life as he saw fit, alternating fits of depression along with intense apathy and an inability to gain fufillment through anything.

Though Hakkai had tried various means to fill that void that was in him. Means that bordered on excess. First it was the alchohol that he consumed, he had spent quite a few nights drunken and laying on the mattress of his bed and looking up at the ceiling while he philosophized on the state of his life and of the world. Because he was a 16 year old guy, he seemed to think that they were related in the scheme of things. Gradually he began to seek out parties where one could get drunk in groups, the parties that lasted until dawn and usually with most of the participants sprawled out on whomever's living room floor.

There was also the sex. Now Hakkai was not promiscuous and so that particular learning expirience perhaps lasted a few rounds before he was bored of it, an occupation that was more empty then most.. and Hakkai could see how it could be the road to ruin and destroyed relationships, so he quickly opted out of that path and on the way out ran smack into the path of what would appear to be his own ruin.

Cocaine.

He had been introduced to it at a particularly rough party, and that first hit had been surreal, for an entire evening he had been taken out of himself and into an entirely seperate world and he hadn't come down until that morning when he had found himself in his own bed, he didn't know how that had happened, that brief moment of oblivion in which he didn't know himself.. that was the exact feeling that he had been searching for, a realm in which apathy and depression didn't exist.

Like someone who had eaten the forbidden fruit, he found he wanted more.. no, needed more. So he found ways to purchase the white candy-like powder in an attempt to re-create that first night. To someone who didn't have a whole lot of friends and who kept to himself quite a bit, the cocaine was like the promise of companionship, of understanding him where very few didn't. He went to it almost blindly and was promptly enslaved in it's bindings, until a day couldn't go by where he didn't have some of his powdery substinance. He took the drugs so that he'd come down off his high in time for school and he'd be good for the entire day, a bit pale but that was to be expected of a drama freak. And then once he got back to the apartment, he'd be craving it once again and so he would reach needily for the bag in his bedside drawer.

Though Hakkai was almost willing to be shaped and molded by the cocaine, and found himself going off alone in the middle of the night, where he went, into the darkness of the ghettos, he'd find himself picking fights that he'd have no recollection of save for blood streaks on his knuckles that crusted a dried dark red. That didn't scare him too much for he always thought it was his own.. even though he searched for marks of blood upon his clothes and never to find them. His addiction was manifesting itself in the ways of aggression, something that had lingered always just underneath his surface and yet had no power to come out, except for now with the cocaine giving them voice.

"All my powers waste away,
I fear the crazed and lonely looks the mirror's sending me these days."

~Sylvia: Reaction~Mystics~

2006-11-18T00:56:46Z

The day had all the beginnings of a perfect day, the sort of day that boded nothing but good. Perhaps it was the twin companions of ceremony and festivity that lingered amongst the denizens of New Enhasa. Normally a fairly peaceful and docile city, there was an air of excitement for today was the christening of the new Elessari stone. And so in accordance there were streamers that hung from the ornate lightposts, waving in hues of sea, sky and blush.. and with each passing of the breeze, they fluttered every which way in a carefree manner, for this event as big and the throng of Mystics that seemed to fill the streets seem to substantiate that.

New Engasa was one of the most beautiful cities in Sylvia. Probably would of been deemed the most beautiful if normal people could enter it's portals to see the streets thronging with the chosen ones. However to everyone of non-mystic blood, where the city should of been, would appear as just an expanse of green field overlooking the Ocean of Niah. And really the only ones who could enter the city were those that had been personally invited by the Head Mystic of Sylvia, Silver Bainbridge. It was however rare that one of red-blood was invited, and usually it denoted some sort of great honour which demanded respect from the races of Mystics.

In fact it was Silver that was walking down the street toward the temple where the ceremony was to be held, the sacred ritualistic consecration of the stone that would help counter all of the destruction that Ethos were trying to wreck upon the land with their scientized magic. To say that Silver was adept at his job would be the truth and perhaps even an understatement for he had all of the qualities that was looked at for a Head Mystic. Sure he was a bit young, but so was his brother who had held the title of Head Mystic six years prior. As a Bainbridge, he had the same silvery hair and purple eyes that were recognized by everyone on the Elessari continent, however unlike his half brother, Magus, the features were decidedly masculine and a trifle solemn, and he always looked the picture of pulled together and right now his long hair was plaited into a dozen little braids which were held in place by iridescent beads that gave a ceremonionial look to his usually unsmiling visage. He was a formal man, but being the son of the Prophetess Schala, he understood quite well the threads of fate and how they bound a person. Even though he didn't know his father or even who he was, in the scheme of things.. it didn't matter.. to be the son of Schala was enough popularity for one person.

His brother had given him a personal recommendation for the position, and since Schala was the head of the Bainbridge Clan, the fact that her blood ran through his veins was revered. It was only natural that he be given the position and so he worked toward it, treating it as a position that most mystics dreamed of, even though he likewise knew that if they had any inkling of what work it entailed, they would place their dreams against the wayside.

Today though his job was not hard. The consecration of the Elessari stone was something that happened only once a year as the council focused their energies into a single stone wrought together with a protective spell that helped to counter the magic that was draining year by year from the land underneath supervision of Enigma Nadiir, President of Ethos. Scattered throughout New Enhasa were those stones, each glowing a soft misty amethyst and was a conglomeration of magical energy rich from the Council which gave birth to it. He had a hand in this particular stone-making which made him feel like a parent going to watch his child dance or sing for the first time.

Past the apocatheries and the booksellers, past the fine purveyors of robes and vestments, his footsteps treading lightly upon white washed cobbles. He had a duty to execute today and he was actually looking forward to it, the blessing that would be bestowed upon the stone for Sylvia's sake. Every year that there was a new Ceremony, it brought new hope to the people and a promise that the Elementals would never forsake them.

It was all going according to plan and Silver's gait was brisk. However in a flash, it almost all changed. The earth didn't rumble, buildings didn't collapse but there was a flash of something.. and for a moment, a single moment everything in the city to his eyes turned crimson. A wave of heat also accompanied it, unbearable in it's intensity that to withstand it, he had to ground himself to the earth. Everything in his line of vision was bathed in a hue of red fire that grazed everything. Something had come into Sylvia, something entirely foreign and yet powerful. Silver was the first to come out of the haze and a chance look around revealed that everyone in his vicinity felt it too.

Once the haze was gone and the city had returned to it's normal shades of pale, he took a sigh of relief and then glanced around, his eyes centered on the Elessari stone, almost as if for reassurance that everything was okay. But it wasn't, and it was proved when the Elessari stone had turned from it's normal purple and watched as it slowly achieving the hue of something red, blood red. His heart went cold as a crack reverberated through the air and like a man watching a trainwreck, he himself witnessed a long fissure forming through the kite-shaped stone and coming down to it's lower lip. From the main crack went several ones to mimic the parent one so that slowly one stone looked to become several. Crumbling down before the individual stones rained, and finally they too all hit the ground like mini pools of hardened blood.

At that moment it occured to Silver that he had to check the other stones, to see if they were okay, so he picked up his robes and started racing through the streets, past the people who stood dazedly.

All six of the Elessari stones were found in various states of degeneration as if the pulse of foreign energy had him them in sequence so that the ones closest soaked up the initial impact. The last one in the line was nearly untouched however it now sported a blush colour, purple with swirls of red. A touch to the stone revealed that the energy that was now flowing through it was a mingling of both the foreign and familar.

No matter, Silver instantly knew that what he had on his hands was an emergancy and so he raced to the council so that a message could be written and a courier sent out to the Capital as soon as possible. The Queen needed to be notified of it and actions needed to be taken in order to see exactly what magic had infiltrated the once protected borders of Sylvia.

What had begun as a wonderful day, had suddenly taken a turn for the worst.

~Heien: Mat's Ruminations~

2006-11-09T15:47:26Z

For as long as Mat could remember, he had grown up with Roni Fatima at his side. He was fairly certain that he had shared a cradle as well... such was the bond between the gentle Emperor Jeriah at the time and his loyal bodyguard, Jakob. It had been the start of a constant living and dying for the other, and while Mat had not understood it, he remembered reaching out to Jakob as if he was his mother. But then his own mother, the Emperess had not cared overly much about him, having gotten with him and then went back to her own court, leaving Mat bereft of any type of mother save for that which he could come up with. But Jakob would hold him and he liked that, those periods when it would be just him and Roni snuggled in Jakob's arms while his father went to take care of the constant source of paperwork.

But there were other things that impressed themselves in Mat's mind. Evenings of watching the fireworks from on top of the palace, sitting on the edge with a young Roni and exclaiming over the bursts of colour that phantomed them over the night sky, a look backwards and he would see his father locked in a tender embrace with Roni's father... as if they only fireworks they really needed was between each other. He did not envy it, but he thought it nice. Nice enough the next day to weasel his first kiss out of Roni to see what it was like, it hadn't been anything special, but that was because to a six year old boy, the act of kissing was not very exciting at all.

Picnics by the stream that wound through the royal courtyard, watching Roni train in sword fighting. Really Mat knew that he was luckier then most, for his father was not an emperor that went abroad for very long, and hence the danger was usually allayed. So Mat got to be with his father for awhile, lasting through hils childhood and even through most of his teen years. It was enough for him to realize what relationship Jeriah and Jakob had, and see it mirrored in Roni. It was easy for Mat to see Roni turn from a boy into a young man, and knowing that he was training to protect him.. that might of predisposed his inclinations toward the other boy. Enough that he didn't push him away when that kiss from nine years ago was taken back after long last, and the kiss was found to be much sweeter for it.

All it took was a year for things to change so completely. Just a few days before he turned sixteen, during one of the summer festivals, they all went out, usually clothed in plainsclothes to get out of the palace incognito. Something that Mat and Roni had not been a stranger too, since they'd been doing it for months to get out of the palace and go to the taverns in the city to get happily drunk. But at the festival, he remember a blur.. not really details but he could hear his father's sobbing and then felt as Roni's hand placed itself under his arm to lead him away to safety. The next morning it had been determined, it had been assasins that had come to take his father, and got Roni's father instead.

That was when Mathias knew exactly what sort of danger he would eventually put Roni in it. The days that followed were filled with the black palls and misery that seemed to come from one man, for Mathias knew that it had hit his father hard.. having to see the man that had been trained to protect him, come to an end. He watched his father pine away from the world, until all his father eventually knew was the darkness of the room that they once shared, and then after that.. death. An end that was wrought with pain and anguish for all involved.

That is when the distance started. That was when Mathias started trying to push Roni away, in attempt to make it so that it would hurt less when that happened. He was in an essence trying to govern his own feelings and Roni's as well, to make it hurt less in the eventualities that ruled over their lives. He did that for approximately 6 years, a long time indeed. In that time, Mat had taken an emperess and had gotten her with child.. almost the same thing that Roni had done, so that soon the palace was filled with two crying babies who seemed to quiet down when laid next to each other in the same crib.

Having a child made Mat realize how stupid it was to be fearful of the future, however there had been a rift that had grown between him and Roni and he undertook to breach it, sure they were in constant company of each other.. but it was nothing like what their fathers had, and he tried to fix it and make it right. It was with a bottle of sake that he undertook to do just that, and in his drunken state he had incoherantly mumbled apologies to his equally drunken bodyguard, because he sure as hell couldn't do it sober, but then those arms wrapped around him and he was willfully lost. The single most desire in him was make things right, and so they ended up making things right.. repeatedly, that entire night.

"But it all comes down to this.." Mat thought 12 years later as he held Roni firmly in his arms, he had not screamed as his father had, or burst into shuddering sobs, but there were tears coming down his face in abundance. He didn't even think to look over to where Hyuga was, knowing that Sigurd was probably keeping him safe. His eyes looked into those blue eyes grown so cloudy with the veil of death coming down slowly and realized this was the moment, the eventuality that he had tried to protect himself from. But now, all he could think of was the six wasted years, of pushing Roni away when he could of had more years had he not been stubborn. The 'I'll be waiting' caused tears to come faster even though his face remained a mask of calmness that wouldn't dare break in public. "I won't be long.." he murmured as he leaned down to very softly close those blue eyes that he knew now were unseeing, the last time he'd ever see those blue eyes in his adored one.

The funereal was a grand one, Mathias had spared no expense in making sure that his bodyguard and lover was spared no great honour for having protected the future Emperor, he did all of those resolutely.. and no one saw the tears that he shed every night. They gave him another bodyguard but he doubted he even spoke three words to him, it would never be Roni.. and really Roni had been the only protector he had wanted. He stayed busy for the next two years preparing his throne for Hyuga, for clauses that gave his younger cousin, Jin guardianship of Hyuga in the eventuality that he died.

And after loose ends were tied up, he let himself succumb. So that just after Hyuga had reached his fourteenth birthday, it was Hyuga that was summouned into his father's darkened chambers to hear his father's last wishes. They were there in counsel with each other for two hours, however when Hyuga emmerged, it was with his head bowed as he stepped very close to Sigurd's side and then that forehead fell against a strong shoulder as tears fell while the words remembered their way into his heart.

"My son.. never fear the future, because while things will happen, if you fear the future, you will lose your enjoyment of things that happen in the present.." and while Hyuga did not know exactly what that meant, he did slip into Sigurd's embrace and let himself cry.. returning the favor of two years ago. Now, Hyuga knew that they only had each other.

~~~

"The winter is cold and bitter
The chill lasts to the bone.
I haven't seen the sun for weeks,
Too long, too far from home
I feel just like I'm sinking..
And I claw for solid ground.
I'm pulled down by the undertone,
Never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go."

"If all of the strength,
And all the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I can love you much better than this.
Full of grace.."

~"Chains": Brady Fic-bit~

2006-10-09T18:08:36Z

"The door is standing open
But I'm too tired to be afraid.
My whole life's in this moment
But I've been fighting all the way.."

Jeriah was the baby of the Uzuki family and had been for years treated as such. There was perhaps no one as smart as him and in fact during a childhood IQ test, he had scored well above that of which was normal. Gifted, that was what Jeriah was and yet he did not do much with it, but there was also a reason for that, for to utilize it he'd have to go out among people and Jeriah's greatest fear was of people. Not of family, of course not, Mathias, Mathias' wife, his children.. they were all people he could deal with and even though he did not speak much to them, he could sit comfortably in a room alone with them. The rest of the human race was a different story and quite honestly he thought that they were best avoided. There was many different things and situations that led to this conclusion and having been born with shyness, it fastly grew acute.

The first was the expectations. It had always been difficult to grow up in the shadow of someone like his brother. A being of infiniate confidence and potential, surely Jeriah realized that Mathias could walk outside, speak to people, interact with them without freezing up and letting the worries infiltrate him. Logically Jeriah saw Mathias as someone who could do anything with effortless grace, while it took Jeriah all of his courage and then some to do what Mathias did so easily. Go up to the counter to talk with a customer sales representative, that was easier said then done and he never could get the results he wanted, his words making him sound like an utter dork and he realized that he'd be better served to shut up.

It was his secret shame that he couldn't even get through a normal high school before he had to switch to home schooling, too many people for him to have to deal with, girls giggling him about his much older brother, guys that looked down on him because he wasn't athletic like him.. he had really no friends except for perhaps the stray cat on campus, befriending by coaxing it out from it's hiding space with pieces of his lunch.

As much as he disliked people, he made up by befriending animals. And in fact in his apartment in New York, he had two cats, a dog, a parakeet and some goldfish, the only companionship he needed, and they were lavished with all of his love and adoration, and likewise was given the same adoration. The cats and dog had been rescued by him, all of them having either been neglected or abandoned, he had taken them in and treated them with his own brand of love and devotion, tending their wounds and coaxing them out of their shells until they would of done anything for the master that took them in. And he did share an affinity with them, certainly he was the only human that they considered decent in any way, their wounds from society too deep for them to be completely erased.

What Jeriah did was write. It was an occupation that kept him at home for the most part. There weren't very many options for him when he couldn't bear to deal too much with society, he had tried something along the lines as a night maintenance worker at the Museum of Natural History, however the supervisor always seemed to be hovering around him, there was another stream of odd jobs before finally he decided to write. He had no problem with that, his imagination and mind was kind to him with writing for there was a whole world in his mind, peopled of his own creations, there was safety there where he could predict reactions and dialouge. Not to mention that he had a flair for the written word so it was easy for him to write, it came almost effortlessly, and in a matter of a month he had his first book which he sent to a publisher and found that it was accepted. Arrangements were made and he found himself with a best seller on his hands for his books seemed to sell like wildfire. Because of that first book, he found that it was easy to write more, it also gave him another barrier of safety which he wrapped around him like a cloak. He wrote under a nom de plume for the most part because he didn't want to hassle his brother with people who would recognize the last name of Uzuki and then pester for autographs, so instead he wrote under the name Jeriah Leontes.

Because of the modern world, it was easy to pay most of his bills online, to avoid going out as much as possible, and for the things he had to do, well he did it quickly and with managing to talk to as few people as was utterly necessary. For human interaction, his brother always sent him dinner invitations at least a few times a month, and Mat and his kids were what Jeriah could deal with, and while the kid's fighting could make him wince a little bit, at least he was somewhere that he was comfortable.

"But the life cannot let go,
It's a chain cuts across my soul
Anchoring in this world."

~Ficbit: Give me Strength~

2006-09-09T16:04:01Z

"I can't change what's come before
Build myself some better dreams
And cast off the fear that holds me hear"

Something was inherently sensual about that form that lay across the bed, awashed in slumber just before the hour of dawn that would blossom across the sky very shortly and paint the sky in colours that were simply luminous. Hyuga had watched Sigurd sleep with eyes that were fondly vigilant and ever watchful, filled with love that he couldn't exactly put a price on, this was of course a product of years upon years in which time had passed quickly, each lifetime giving into the next lifetime. He drew the silk sheets up against Sigurd's back and then got up from the bed not because he wanted to, oh if he had the choice he would of stayed in that bed forever, lingered next to Sigurd's body and offered pleasure whenever the call of erotic delights sounded however the option was not his and had been taken out of his hands. The sun would rise soon and then he would have to take himself off to a seperate room to linger and rest until the unforgiving sun set on another day.

His heart always was left with that form. He brushed the locks of silver hair off of Sigurd's brow and pressed kisses against shoulders. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see the little marks where he had taken his substinance and while he knew that it had caused Sigurd a bit of discomfort, he had tried to give Sigurd an equal ammount of pleasure to make up for it.

He had made sure to know each curve of that body intimately until he had Sigurd panting and wanting for more, and only then... only with his hand around Sigurd's cock and buried deep inside Sigurd did he allow himself that taste at the peak of orgasm. Because when Sigurd's body was at the pinnacle of euphoria, that was when the blood was the sweetest.. and he could feel the love coursing through Sigurd's body, a testament to their love for each other.

Hyuga was always amazed, each time he thought that Sigurd would react the worst to the knowledge of what he was, and yet each time he told him.. it was almost instantaneous the arms that wrapped around him and the neck that was bared to him willingly. The surest of heavens offered to him and where he could lose himself so completely and willingly. However he had refused to just take, he had to give some part of himself to Sigurd, and so it was always him that offered that slice of pleasure, a trembling sigh that was like music from his lips. Eventually he ended up the slave to Sigurd. But that was willing and even he knew that, there was nothing that he would of not given to his adored one, the shining ray of light in an other-wise bleak eternity.

Never was Hyuga quite sure if he deserved those arms offered to him, especially when he tallied up the numerous sins that he bore through each of Sigurd's lifetimes. Most of his sins before Sigurd always were the greatest because he could never forgive himself for them because he had not that light there to hold him and tell him that he was no great sinner. Kisses were salvation and through those eyes he saw the day, and while he could never truly achieve humanity again, he was more conscious of it in others when Sigurd was by his side.

When Sigurd was alive, he was much more inclined to let the life linger in the bodies of his victims. Perhaps because on every one of his victim's faces, he saw those blue eyes full of life and so he would always still his lapping tongue for consideration, he would take enough to sate his hunger usually though he would always come home to Sigurd's arms to push himself just over pleasure.

Curled up by Sigurd's side afterwards, he would place soft kisses anywhere that they would drop and sigh softly as he felt Sigurd's body slacken. Dreaming of the time when they had been mortal together, he knew that he had no business asking for what could never be re-attained, it did not stop him from thinking of cold winter days beside the fireplace where they were twined only in each other's bodies, their first kisses sweet like the sunlight that rained down on them and the world of possibility that had opened up before them long before the kiss of death had claimed him.

Hyuga hoped desperately that Sigurd adored moonlight, the fleeting ethereal promise of such.. for that in essence was all that he could offer him. Sunlight was far beyond his power and in his own rationale, he knew that Sigurd deserved quite a bit more, deserved a full and happy life which he felt at times he was unable to give. Perhaps as well he could count himself lucky that Sigurd -wanted- the life that he offered, though while it was not much.. Hyuga made sure that when Sigurd was in his life, he gave him every single pulsing iota of his being.

~A Little into the Life of Jeriah Leontes~

2006-08-21T15:09:24Z

Truth be told, Jeriah Leontes had never been a people person.

Not by a long-shot. There were many events and situations which sort of gave way to Jeriah's retiring ways when it came to humanity as a whole. Most of it stemming from the fact that the only humanity he had ever really -seen- had been Solaris. Certainly not the cream of the crop despite the views of the denizens themselves. It was a company that Jeriah found that he had little use for and so he ducked out of events whenever he could, pleading some sort of excuse that probably wouldn't of worked if he hadn't been who he was, Emperor Cain's assistant. A position that was envied and lusted after though Jeriah often times thought that he wasn't sure if it was a big deal and there were parts of the job that he was never and had never been too keen upon.

Jeriah was cursed and perhaps even blessed with acute shyness. Part of it had stemmed from a situation back when he was five years old. He had been attending a festival with his mother and had inadvertantly gotten lost in the crowd, seperated from his mother. For an hour he was wandering among people, loud people, slightly scary individuals that had left him feeling as if he were drowning and certainly stifled. Everytime he had cried out for his mother, all he had been met with was unfeeling stares.

That was perhaps a little much for someone who felt -too- much. Each successive trip anywhere had him hiding behind his mother's skirt, all wide dark eyes and hair that was a dark turquoise, certainly an unusual colour for him but that brought him perhaps to the second variable in his shyness and perhaps the one that shaped him to this day of exactly what and who he was.

That was his uncertain parentage, typified in his very features. They were not even distinctively solarian despite the fact that his mother bore all of the traits of a pureblood. The blonde hair and blue eyes that marked one as having 'holy' blood. His father, he had never even met his father, all he knew was that he looked like him and that his very looks caused him to be branded as 'surface-dweller' or '3rd class' even though status wise he was neither. Certainly those words had hurt him initially however after a while he learned to fade into the background, do what he was told and then lock himself into the little world that he kept in his note and scetch books. Soon the words did not phase him but nevertheless he shied away from his peers, adding to a list of people that he hid from which by the time he graduated from high school seemed like a very big list.

That led him to recognition. Because while he was shy, he still applied himself to his lessons, his projects were always done on time and was very thorough to completion. His senior year he had even submitted the prototype for a gear that he had drawn, all apart of a technology contest, with the entries being sent to the Emperor himself to be judged. He was quite amazed when he was singled out, his design chosen as the best. When he had gone up to accept the award, he had felt the eyes of his peers on his back and while he had wanted to run, there was part of him that wanted to accept that award, wanted to prove to everyone in that crowd that he was worthy of accepting it, that his parentage didn't matter. He managed to, but once the time for him to make a speech came, he felt tongue tied and after a few words he had fled the stage quickly because he could still see the looks in their eyes and while they said nothing, the words therein would always lie the appellations that he hated.

A few months later he was given route to a prestigeous design school, a gift from the Emperor's hand it was said. It was as if suddenly god had looked down on him and found him favorable. And while he could still hear the whispers of 'surface-dweller', they were quietened by the Emperor's favor. No one after all dared to call into question Emperor Cain's decisions. He designed, most of his designs were used and he was given more responsibilities to do things, a carte blanche everywhere he went. The gear hangers, the research labs, all of these were his homes with the key given to him by the Emperor himself.

Eventually he was given a suite in the palace and if Emperor Cain needed anything, he was called upon. For errands, for decisions, for designs. Anything that he could think of to place upon young Jeriah's shoulders. And yet he was relieved that Emperor Cain never asked him for anything that made him uncomfortable, like public speaking because he knew that he was no good at it. But he held all the benefits of a Guardian Angel, but he was no such thing.. at least not officially. But because Emperor Cain believed in him, he found himself attempting all that his leige asked of him with a loyalty that was certain if but a little shy. And while Emperor Cain could never make the remarks disappear, they became so quiet as to not be heard.

And then one day Emperor Cain gave him the biggest mission of his life.

Infiltrate the Zeboiem Labs and gather information. He did not even have to be a key player, all he had to do was get inside.. perhaps even as a laboratory assistant and work from there. Such a mission, there was no harm in it. And while his stomach quivered with the fact that he would have to interact with new people outside his sphere of comfort, but for Emperor Cain he would do anything.

-Jeriah Leontes, Guardian Angel (unoffically), Solaris, Zeboiem Era. 22 years old.

~Ficbit: Something Worth Living For {ShunUki}~

2006-08-19T21:16:43Z

Title: "Something Worth Living For"
Fandom/Pairing: Bleach {ShunUki}
Rating: PG (though for me, it'd be G)
Comments: I don't know why this came to my mind. However my Ukitake muse loves children *not in that way.. cough*. He also thrives on the role of being a parent, and I really can't think of anything more fitting for him. If his sickness hadn't left him sterile, I think that he would of populated Soul Society with children of his own. (What gives me this idea is listening to his theme song that Kubo Tite gave him, "Back to the Innocence"). Do I think that he has adopted his entire squad as his family.. yes I think so. Do I think that he considers Nanao like a daughter, absolutely. To sort of elaborate on the title, for many people dying is the hard thing. To have something worth dying for. I am sure that would apply to someone who was in the perfect health, who had never had any complications insomuch with it. But for Ukitake who had been courted by death all his life, I think that the hard thing would be living and breathing. And that he has that home to come back to after each dance with death, makes Living the only choice for him. (Not beta'd.. >.> Because I suck)

It was evenings such as this that Ukitake treasured the most. Naturally it had happened on one of his more invalidish days so he was bundled up on his bed with covers a mile high slinked over him and he was bade not to come out from underneath them by both Unohana and Shunsui who knew him well enough to know that when he was sick, all he wanted to do was curl underneath and nap the day away. And so he had spent most of his day doing exactly that with not even a toe sticking out from underneath the blanket. He could hear rustling going around in his quarters but he figured that it was probably Kaien or Shunsui who was arranging things to make him more comfortable for the eventuality of when he emmerged. And certainly the medication that Unohana had given him was doing him some world of good because everything seemed to pass by in a daze as he sank slowly into oblivion.

The smell of pickled squid somehow managed to creep into his senses along with a plethora of other equally delicious aromas that had him salivating a little bit. He wiggled a little bit impatiently underneath the covers and quirked an eye open however all Ukitake could see was the mountains of covers that seemed to obstruct him from these smells. Before he had gone to sleep, his entire body had rejected the very idea of food which was in itself a main indicator of how sick he really was. Fortunately the medicine coupled with the sweet smells of all of his favorites seemed to bring his appetite roaring back to life and he blinked a bit. ~Surely.. that food is for me. This is -my- room after all~ he mused a space before he reached up so that he could start the process of untangling himself from bedclothes.

Once the surface was reached, what assaulted his gaze made him smile.

Settled around the low table in the center of his room was a table laden with food, appetizing bits of sushi, a plate full of Squid on a Stick which he knew that was solely for him and assorted other dishes that brought his mouth to a watering frenzy, however it wasn't only that. It was the company that lingered around the table that made his heart give a skip of pleasure. His -family- was there. Certainly not the family that he had been born to, but rather the family that he had made for himself by and by as time went on.

Nanao-chan with the petulant gaze who had her arm on her book as if ready to smack Kaien who was trying to -tickle- her and looking extremely cute as she did so. There was Kaien, the constant tormentor and his chosen vice-captain, that he had fatherly feelings for Kaien, well that did not even bear scrutinizing for he loved Kaien like he would of loved his own son, and then Rukia who was wearing the Chappy scarf that he had given her for Christmas and laughing at the antics of Kaien and Nanao with much youthful mirth. And then there was the man who sat at the head of the table with an indolent smile on his face probably put there by the sake, a sakkat plopped down at a rakish angle on his head and his shoulders swathed in folds of embroderied pink silk. He was the first to notice that he had gotten out of bed. Almost in slow motion, Ukitake saw his choosen mate, Shunsui, reach out his hand to him to guide him back toward the Land of the Living and onto the large cushion that was built specifically for two.

Ukitake took that hand in a firm clasp and knew that this was exactly why he would return from sickness every time. Because moments like this proved that he had something worth -living- for. His family.

~Apocalypse: Caitlin~

2006-08-16T15:19:46Z

"Upon this my dreams are depending
Through the dark, I sense the pounding of her heart
Next to mine.. she's the sweetest love I could find
So I guess I'll be hunting high and low..
High..
There's no end to the length's I'll go to..
High and low, high..
Do you know what it means to love you.."

Somewhere, Felicity was out there. Caitlin just knew it though she couldn't say precisely why. Really Caitlin had been one to rely on dreams too heavily, her whole life had been a whole study in realisim from her childhood and it's hazy whispers, while Heyven played with her dolls and Jian climbed trees, what did she do but collect things from the natural world. Her tiny five year old mind had been spent absorbing all of the wonders which she would devote more and more attention to growing up. Science, how things worked. She had been more apt to take apart a car engine on a saturday night then go on any actual dates like her sisters did.

She had human interaction, family interaction to keep her constant, to give her strength while she went through more college then anyone should have to bother with, she had been ambitious, not because she particularly wanted to prove anything but because there were so much out there that she didn't know, things she wanted to study about the world. Physics, Biology, Medicine, all of it was like lovers to her, lovers made out of grams, atoms, cells that woo'd her with textbook examples.

So perhaps she had not noticed it at first when she had met Felicity, the fact that something else was woo'ing her out of her self imposed study, the quiet artist girl who was so dedicated to something that Caitlin was only interested in through the composition of paint and how it broke down, however before she knew it, she was taking interest in something outside her little unpeopled world. She found herself being dragged quite willingly to museums and afternoons in the park where the only thing that happened was that Felicity painted something. And quite honestly, Caitlin had to say that she enjoyed it for Felicity was opening her up to a world that not so long ago Caitlin only eyed in passing, watching while it danced with other people.

It wasn't precisely a whirlwind, Caitlin would of never called it that, rather that everything just sort of fell into place, from the first time that Felicity spent the night and Caitlin had her first lesson in poetry, not poetry involving words, but rather body poetry, the silent fall of kisses where rhyme and music was the sweet and heady after effects and tanging of limbs all for the sake of grasping on to something.. and holding onto it until the rush and waves past them by. Nothing seemed more natural then when Caitlin suggested they get an apartment together. From the apartment came committment, but it was not something that was asked between either of them, it was something that had been given almost from the times their lips touched for the first time.

When Caitlin had seen Felicty off at the airport Security Checkpoint, there had been kisses but Caitlin knew that this was something that Felicity had to do. They had discussed it and Caitlin had told Felicity that she really wanted her to go, because she thought it would be good for her, a chance to spread her wings. She was secure enough and comfortable enough in their relationship to know that wherever Felicity went, she would always come back to her. So at least from Caitlin's end there were no tears as they parted temporarily, well perhaps they were.. but that was only when she came back to their apartment and woke up from dreams only to find that Felicity's head wasn't being cradled by the pillow next to hers. There were letters, many letters that Caitlin wrote and sent, letters about her work and everyday life. Though she snuck in those little gems of missing Felicity, of saying it and with each letter they got a little more pronounced. Caitlin was never really good at expressing her feelings but she knew that she was getting better about it with every day that passed and every letter that came away from her hands.

When the decline of the world began, Caitlin started to worry for Felicity. She had no clue about the events of Kenya until it was announced that their was a standoff there involving people and different factions. And then she almost about dropped her morning coffee. Cold ice jetted through her whole being as she realized that the word 'kenya' that had been mentioned was where Felicity had gone to. And for someone who had never prayed once in her entire life, who had never believed in any sort of higher power or diety, she found herself begging to 'something' to protect Felicity wherever she was because that life was the most important life to her.

It was perhaps hard to be cut off so completely however Caitlin bore under it well and then made it so that she was burrowed in her work. Long hours became regular, because there was a part of Caitlin that seemed to balk at going home to rest too long, and if she did take a break, she went over to Heyven's house, noting Heyven's worry too. After a while it was Heyven that she had to turn into because something involving Chloe suddenly drove Jian to pick her case load to be light while she spent all of her free time hunting archives and libraries over something that Caitlin could have no clue over.

It almost blew her away when she recieved the packet of letters in the mail, she had been estatic and eagerly she had burrowed her hands into the brown packaged stack, all of them from her girlfriend, all of them news and knowledge. She took an afternoon and evening off just so that she could pour over the words, though the original letter from Ayaka still burned closely in her mind along with one single word... "Dr. Krelian". Who was he? That teased at her, so while she read, she tried to tack up anything she could to knowledge, for she wanted to know exactly where her girlfriend went. A doctor, Caitlin knew that wasn't so hard to find, and likewise if she pulled a few strings, perhaps she could locate who this doctor was, what organization he worked for.. and perhaps the most important question, what did he want with her girlfriend.

And Caitlin knew that there would be no rest for her until she had Felicity in her arms once again. She wanted her piece of life back, the piece of life that she had given to Felicity to keep, and a part of her would not be whole until they were together again.

"I'll always be hunting high and low
Only for you...
Watch me tearing myself to pieces..
Hunting high and low..
There's no end to the length's I'll go to..
For you I will be hunting high and low"

~Mathias to Mat~

2006-08-04T02:59:48Z

Alicubi apud memorias longinquas		At long intervals between memories
Aliquid intra me espergiselt		Something inside me awakened
Amorem indulgentiam		And I finally knew love, kindness
Macroem dolorem conguoscebit		Sadness and pain
Omnia terminabit		Does this lead everything to its end?

Mathias Jaevyn was the type of man who had been considered a very cold man, nearly heartless and absolutely devoted to his duty. It was because he grew up in a household where the better thing to do was to do what you were told, do it all for the good of Solaris and think of nothing else. Granted Mathias was not really heartless, just wary. Had always been wary of the self serving society that was made up of Solarian elite. The same people that were patting you on the back one day were also ready to stab you in the back the next day. That was probably why Mathias had vowed to himself that he would never let anyone see him fall, and so he did things with one hundrend and ten percent given to his name. Perhaps that is why he ascended up the ranks of the military so quickly until he himself had been named Emperor Cain's right hand man. Though he knew that others had been before him, with his advent it actually had a name. He was the Guardian Angel of Solaris. He had the Emperor's ear and voice, and he was by selection the 'favored' one.

That caused those to curry his favor even more. The parents who had sent him off to military school to forget about him, now wanted to claim them wholeheartedly as his own. Women and men alike who did not care for him previously suddenly fawned over him and neigh threw themselves at him so that it was all he could do to step aside and watch them fall right on their faces. His position was rubbed in his face constantly and while he knew that with it came absolute power and carte d' blanche, he also was aware that it came with it's share of annoyances. It minorly pained him to believe that he'd always be respected and admired for what he represented but he slowly grew used to it and so he threw up the smoke and mirrors that made him who he was. It was after all an easy thing to believe that he didn't need human interactions or relationships when books and battle games did just fine.

Perhaps that served Emperor Cain's purpose all well and good, for Emperor Cain knew exactly what Jeriah Leontes's downfall had been and he saw this incarnation as being less yielding, less willing to submit. So Mathias was given less watch over, he wasn't the type to be swayed by anything other then what he had to do.. and so Emperor Cain gave him missions that further gave Mathias a reason to validate himself.

When Mathias came down to the surface, he was perhaps at his most jaded self. Jaded, guarded, hooded and cloaked, all of those words could be used to describe him. A foreigner in a distant city where the holy was reverentiated. Mathias held no such belief in any sort of gods or deities, he did not even know what he believed in except perhaps himself, he was just there to learn and study the Nisan sect, to figure out how they ticked and to gauge how they would react to any situation which would be duly noted and then reported to his Liege. What Lacan, Krelian, Sophia, Thaddeus and Roni met was a man who was slightly distant, slightly wary but ultimately polite, an enigma to all others. He professed to be a scholar and so they let him into the cathedral libraries... he marveled at their trust, wondered at it as he poured over books.

Sometimes Sophia would come in to speak with him, other times Krelian or Thaddeus. Conversing with them, he felt himself open up a little bit, because they were interested in what he was, what he had to say. His awarance that they did not know who he was lightly tapped at his mind, that they accepted him so openly. But it was the slightly vain and yet gregarious Roni Fatima that perhaps drew Mathias out the most. He did not realize it until he would find himself looking up from his book and into a pair of warm blue eyes as a hand grabbed the book from his hand and then forced him into the sunshine, forced him out of his shell. And for no other reason then that 'reading in dim light is bad for you'. He railed and he was stubborn, but eventually he knew that his heart was calling out for something, anything.. and what it met was Roni's. Certainly they clashed a few times, and their lover's quarrels were spectacular as everyone down the corridor could hear them, but what they gave to each other was passion pure and absolute. And after a time, the Guardian Angel of Solaris, Mathias Jaevyn went away.. but in his place remained simply.. Roni's Mat.

And he knew as he lay in the circle of Roni's arms, that he could never go back to being Mathias...

~Apocalypse~

2006-07-30T03:30:55Z

Pre-writing for the Apocalypse RP. Expect alot more where this comes from. (Jian = Jin for reference)

The first few weeks after the Zohar incident left Jian watching the news, usually at the first chance that she got. It did not affect her directly save for a little bit of wierdness that she saw that Chloe was displaying. Given that her lover was used to little fits and starts here and there, she attributed it to a whim which seemed completely irrelevant to the going on's of the world around them, a world that was thrusting itself into even more chaos. Every time she picked a paper, it was frought with tales of suffering and tales of greed, things that she would of expected out of a cheap pulp novel that was sold in underground bookstores, things that were made up of conspiracy theories. She was by no means a conspiracy theorist but she knew that something was on the downwind, something that she didn't think anyone could be prepared for. So she continued to get her daily paper, muse over the individuals that cropped up missing all over the country, and while she knew that Chloe would take more interest in it, from a sensationalist standpoint, she did not let it phase her too much. There were certain things that were definitely out of her control.

That day, Jian woke up feeling a bit off, that something was not quite right and would not be quite right for awhile. She did not possess the aftereffects of the Zohar that the others felt, in fact she knew she was nothing but normal. Usually Jian tried to keep herself positive since her profession was made of long hours and grueling paperwork. That she didn't mind too much because it made it so that she and Chloe could live in a style that they were accustoumed to, a posh apartment in Soho, the types of which she couldn't of afforded on a smaller salary. Her reputation as an outstanding lawyer grew, that meant she could take more time to spend with her partner after each consecutively successful case. Each little bit of time in which she could get away from it all made the work she had to put in worth it.

Her morning rituals were enacted, from dressing in her poweroutfit consisting of a miniskirt and a pinstripe button-down shirt to her 6 inch heels which gave her height an extra-umph. Whenever she consulted clients, she liked to feel in charge and/or intimidating depending on the situation. Pulling her long black hair into a chignon completed the look and she out of their bedroom toward the art deco kitchen in order to see if Chloe was around. Seeing that she wasn't, she did not even bother to turn the coffee pot on, instead she would head right out the door so that she could grab a cup of expresso and a cinnamon roll before heading to her office. On the way she also grabbed the daily copy of the New York Times, the illustrious newspaper that her girlfriend worked at. When she got to the office, she would cut out Chloe's article and place it in the booklet that she had created of her writing a few years ago, it was something that she would open up and read over at her most sentimental moments. She wasn't sure if Chloe knew of it's existance but just before tough cases, it helped to read over the bits of whimsy that her lover often times conveyed in each piece that she wrote.

After settling down at her desk, once the paper was divested of it's article and the cinnamon bun was halfway finished, left her to reflect on the the direction that her life had taken. Despite the unrest, she had to admit that she was fairly happy. There was Chloe that was nearby, so was her sisters whom she did love in her own way, and a weekend was just not a weekend unless they were able to get together to do something, all six of them, together. Sure it was a little off because Seth wasn't around and even Jian could admit that despite the fact that whenever she and Seth were in the same room, they bickered and bickered until someone *that would be Heyven* threw their shoes at them both. And Caitlin's girlfriend was currently involved in some dig in Kenya, though Caitlin hadn't heard from her in a while, which was inspiring a minor bit of concern if not outright panic. Hopefully next summer Seth would be home and they could all take a vacation together, perhaps up to their parent's old place in upstate New York. She didn't think that Heyven's girlfriend Sigele had been there before and well it was certainly something that would bear mulling over. It certainly would be good when they could all get together again.

Disrupting the tone of her thoughts was the sound of the intercom that came up with her secretary's brusque voice. "Ms. Uzuki, your 9:30 appointment is here to see you." Jian couldn't even believe that she got paid enough to have a secretary, but in retrospect it made her feel important, just like her private office, and she did have fond memories of the office, for the night that she had moved in, she had brought Chloe there and they had suitably dedicated it in a way that only lovers could. But she would not allow herself to think on that thought, she'd save it for later when she got home to Chloe and they could settle down in each other's arms and discuss the day's events.

"You may send them in, Cheyenne." Jian said as she reached for the first portfolio on the stack, the one that she had researched yesterday afternoon for the client in question, and then sat back in her chair so that she could appear cool, calm and relaxed. It was her charm and charisma that helped her to win the cases that she endeavored, and even she realized it, it was a source of pride for her. One thing about being a lawyer taught her that black and white, good and evil were not as clear cut as one would have imagined them to be, and it cemented her as a realist. Sure she had lost that dreaming edge when her parents had died in a plane crash but after that had happened, she realized that she could still dream, even if it was through Chloe.

The couple was sent in and Jian helped them in the most professional way that she could, going over details for the case, asking them what they recalled, asking for corresponding documentation, all the trappings of her profession where every detail was recorded, indeed there was no good or evil in her field. There was only 'what if's' and intelligent conclusions. The sides that she defended were not always good and it was only in her duty to place down the evidence as she saw it and hoped to make a convincing case. Lawyers were often devil's advocates, hence their reputation.. and she was no different.

The sound of a light buzz got her attention and she glanced sideways at the cell phone on it's charger. It was ringing and she raised her brow almost indolently. She wanted to pick it up but something told her not to, she knew that her voice mail would come up automatically and field the call. She turned her attention back to her clients then, trying to put the phone out of her mind. It still went through her mind throughout the consultation, and in her own way she tried to speed things up in a very uncharacteristic way. Finally though she could finally usher the clients out, and that would give her time to check her voice messages, and so with relief she picked up her cell and dialed into her mailbox, there was only one message.

Hitting the key to access it, she recognized Chloe's number.

Then she heard Chloe's voice, and the ensuing message in hushed whispers. For the first time in a long time, Jian felt sick to her stomach. That was her initial reaction, the second instinct was to depress the intercom and then speak into it. "Cheyenne, cancel all of my appointments for the day... I have things I need to do.." she did not offer any explanation, instead she tucked all of the portfolios away and let her secretary do the thinking. She had some research to do, and she really did not know exactly -where- to start.